HAHAHAHHA

Today... is not so nice day..

awaken up in the morning by siew ting msg, the chain of smses that I thought would end yesterday is apparently "to be continued" today. hahahha. Its fun to have her around as friend.

I got to do some products making for my ice candy.I went to market and purchase some stuff for the ingredients. It was hot and dirty. I needed a green coconut to make coconut ice candy. I couldn't find in the market. My maid told me sing siong do sell coconuts. I but I dun know where is sing siong. siew ting told me sing siong is located at serangoon and jurong.

Going serangoon or jurong just for a piece of green coconut? crazy rite.. well. rather I was thinking to go to east coast park climb the coconut tree and just pick it by my own .

But I couldn't walk that far. Earlier this morning ,I was over bored, and I ************ till I cant walk properly. my guardian thought I had accident or sumthing, haha.. she was wrong.. totally wrong.

I went down stairs with a laundry pole .And yeah, right at my condo area, there were stretch of coconut trees with green coconut. I was thinking to give it a try, get some for mine.

I spend approx. half an hour poking at the bloody coconut and finally it dropped.. and yeah.. dropped right on top of the windscreen of the passing car which appeared all of sudden. I spent the next an hour at the security post. I was allowed to go finally, but my coconut, was confiscated. Crap!!

Then I went back home, and just tried to make the product with the existing ingredients.

at night marcus went online, he suddenly talked to me after so long...

MarcusW~ says:
sup dude...
that time u sms i was busy

Alexander Demetrius says:
haha
I was thinking u a freaked with me alrd...
haha
yeah.. sup man

MarcusW~ says:
lol
eh u study alrdy?

Alexander Demetrius says:
mhh
kind off
for wht

MarcusW~ says:
i see i see

Alexander Demetrius says:
exam?

MarcusW~ says:
for main exam
ah
ya

Alexander Demetrius says:
oh
a bit
but i have tones of unsolved proj

MarcusW~ says:
oh

Alexander Demetrius says:
and I still procastinate

MarcusW~ says:
lol

Alexander Demetrius says:
crap

MarcusW~ says:
i just finished one of my proj

Alexander Demetrius says:
I went out to buy lot of ingredient for ice candy making
then i cant find green coconut
when I went back to my condo, I got silly idea
I saw lots of coconut tree with coconuts on my condo area
i took the laudry pole
I kept poking for half an hour
and yeah
it dropped
but suddenly a cas passby
and the coconut it the windscrenn till it cracks

MarcusW~ says:
LOL

Alexander Demetrius says:
and I was kept in the security guard office for an hour
shit
wht a day

MarcusW~ says:
wow
yea man

Alexander Demetrius says:
haha

MarcusW~ says:
fuck ur a retard
teh fuck u go poke coconuts

Alexander Demetrius says:
next time I will just throw my frigde to that freakin car

MarcusW~ says:
lol
hei man
i gtg

Alexander Demetrius says:
lol

MarcusW~ says:
next time talk

Alexander Demetrius says:
so fast

MarcusW~ says:
ya sia

Alexander Demetrius says:
ok... >.< onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRkfuwilWWFY94ynqRmDW-ABJ_SMsMcJGJ-FEnwJ4-vgTjDINDcVPqNZLr4Wlv2bPBdLGcQ0VSD38h0R4jryAmZ49bQjt95rg31JoLZ_VgGGJT7-7vbU8_7axcI1WP-jvpje64-4TI0es/s1600-h/marcus.jpg">


Look at him closely. his shirt he is wearing cost 200 bucks. and his pants is 700 bucks. he specially wore it to impress his ex girlfriend. but sadly he failed. lol. he does spend money more unwisely than me anyway.

but most of the time, when we chat, we can get the chemistry of it. we became friend.a close friend. but We hardly talk since that particular day. That was the stupid mistake I ever made.I shouldn't have told him about that. I had been thinking he get the freak out of me.hopefully he had finally accepted me for what I am.

God. please help me. Give me power and confidence. I definitely am not as freaky as what he might think. I am just like every other guy who walk pass the engine school. I am just like a normal guy who need friend, who do some pranks to relieve stress ,who laughed at jokes and who make fun of people sometime. I am just an ordinary guy with extraordinary character .

what a day...

I went school yesterday for product testing. Yup. I collaborate with the auntie , the owner of the A1 bubble tea just opposite TP, to create a brand new recipe for sale on school at this wednesday. this is part of my entrepreneurship project's (cds) project. these are our 4 products.

Syrup drink
-Gong xi fa chai (shark fin smootie)
-Yue le ping an (mango lasee)
-xin nian kuai le ( green happy syrup)
-hong bao na lai (red happy syrup)


Ice candy
-jackfruit
-fruity
-bandong
-coconut

candy floss

ice pop



this Wednesday, Do visit our one day stall on the entrance of business school...

___________

Later on I went to hang out with lukman and friends, also with yeow hon at pasir ris beach..

hoah... wht a day...











______________________________________________________________________________________

thaipusam

Thaipusam is the name of that festival..I went to see thaipusam with both ada and yeow hon. 2 days ago.. Initially I asked yun zhong to go along, but he was busy ..

I met indriani at farer park and she was with her family. and we tagged along her.. Ada and yeow hon went home when during the "bringing the milk to the other tample" ceremon, but I followed indra all the way till morning. I want to see the whole thaipusam ceremony till it ends.. haha..





______________________________________________________________________________________





























______________________________________________________________________________________

Historical and histerical day

Today a historical and hysterical day for me.. I went for a mentor interview, an interview that I personally find it disturbing. Those people interviewing me are my past friends from my past camps who are at the same badge with me. Secondly, Today is BB agm.. I didn’t attend it for a reason, but yeah I do remember something. This time last year I was sitting on LT 44 , looking at Yessy brought upwards as BB new main com. I am holding my tears, since somehow I realize that will be the last day she will see me as friend and it was true. I heard yun zhong was ushering BB AGM, I know.. He has done his responsibility as their friend. He is a good guy, his future is bright, though it may look bleak in the surface, actually it shines brighter than the mighty sun.

My past has been haunting me for more than a year. Even until now. No one can help me. Not even myself. It is the dark destiny that refuse to leave me no matter wht I do.

Today I open my cards again. It says I am going to lose a good friend that is dearest to me. Haha. Is it yeow hon? Ada? Indra? Siewting? Or maybe even Yun zhong? I don’t know. I hope my cards are corrupted. I really hope so.


My birthday is at 28th of march , 2 more monthes away. Yun zhong birthday is at 28th of feb, 1 more month away. Miue and apparently siew ting birthday falls at the same date, 14 of march ,1.5 monthes away.

for the past 4 years , I always be lonely during my birthday. It is usually the period of my most down time in the year. I dont care anymore. I only wish this time round during my birthday, I am not losing any of dearest friend. Not any one of them.

for the past 3 years, I have been celebrating my birthday together with miue because it falls in the same month. (my guardian arranges a birthday once a month for the tenants). this time round, I dont really think so. seriously. I dont know wht miue is thinking now. But out of my ego, I deeply misses her as my dearest friend.

I am stupid. Siew ting is right. I am stupid.

I always make things into a haste, why should I break my friendship with miue. is it really worth it?

This morning when I opened the one section on my drawer searching for any clothes that can suits me for todays. A chunk of junks fell on my head. I looked at it. obswerved it carefully.

It was not junks. those were things miue gave me last time. I quickly put back those thing back to where it belongs and I left my room immidiately. I didnt realise I started drippping my tears again. In fact i still miss her . so much..

I have not eaten lunch until this dinner hour. I texted yun zhong, aske indra, siew ting, yeow hon and ada. They all had their stuff to do. Siew ting had just eaten. I am pissed.

maybe they wondered why didnt I go to eat by my own?

They had to understand something. I rather die of stravation than having to eat by my own when I am in emo state. I would feel even more down, more friendless and lonely .

eating is a sacred stuff for me. especially in school.

I am having a major headache nw..

That plate I have just eaten cost me $5.50... 5 dollars for kangkong and 50 cent for half portion rice... you wouldnt believe thats what I had for dinner... hahah yeow hon was stunned too...

1st) It is freaking expensive , 5 dollars for chili kangkong.. (never buy veggie from habibie stall.. though it is extremely delicious, it can cost u a bomb.. !)

2nd) I have never had a half portion of rice before for my meal, when I am eating with yeow hon.

3rd) It is only vegetable and rice..

dude.. vegetable tastes nice when cooked in a proper way... some more it is good for my diet .. and supposely for my pocket , "supposely" i said.. hahaha.. I remembered 4 years ago... when I was sec school, I ever had a total non-meat diet for the rest of the 3 month.. and yeah I lost 10 kg...my weight was initially 74kg, and it went down to 64kg which was my ideal weight at that time.. i miss those days when i can actually wear any clothing without worries of looking fat.. lolx..

anyway.. now it is 12.30 and i have 6 projects to do.. and 2 task to be done... but I dont care.. again... for a second time.. and for the last time.. this is gonna be my last... "i dont care"...


___________

this afternoon I had a a fun and a sian time... I went to meet yunzhong, he looked stressed more than ever.. well he is yet to know I am actually more stress than him due my studies.. wahaha... but anyway... all his classmate, shi ting and indrany also... even more stress than him... they are studying like there is no 2moro in the cent room.. so yeah... when yunzhong ask me... "what are u going to do in cent room later?"

I just said," i would be watching ur classmate studying... edevice hahaha"..

and true enough... when i am back... I shifted my plan.. and instead, I go watch the Boring speech of international student club election at TCC... apparently... I met my old friends during the event... not so bad day after all.. then when the event ends... I went back to cent.. the room was very very noisy... and yeah... the three gals are still busy studying... I decided to leave , heading for library where I read the encyclopedia about HISTORY of the civilization... hahaha..

later at night I had dinner with yeow hon at habibie...

____________________________________________________


i hate to say about my dad anymore.. he is now owing my guardian $8761 dollars... and still he is giving reason for payment...

this is what happen when u run a company , without direct help of professional like me.. (chieh... ckckckc... wink wink) ... and when the finance director is MY MOTHER... year... my mom who can afford to go for holiday to thailand and singapore where our company financial status is on the crisis ... Yeah.. my mom who is very good at giving money to her poor relatives who are just too lazy to work hard... My mom who has been starting many small business in the past which later had to declare bankruptcy...


Apparently I am the marketing director and also head of english language department ... yeah.. my down lines are 10 years older than me... and they are university graduate...

I had to interview them before recruiting them, when I myself, has never been to job interview before...

i am one of the share holder... and I am part of decision making committee ... which comprises of..



Mr. Ir Syaiful Anam MBA
( CEO )

Mr. Alexander Demetrius aka Dimas Bayumutirama aka 李风友
(Marketing Director)

Mrs. Rahayu Sudiharti
(Finance Director)

prof. Dr. Handoko
(share holder)


______________

In real situation. Prof Handoko is a silent business partner who do not really involved in decision making process. whereas I only work during holiday since I am study in singapore... so technically... Decision makers are left to My dear mom and My dear dad, for day to day operation.

My company is lacking of brains on decision making process..

My mom always give rejection on many ideas and decision without providing us with the SOLUTION..

My dad always concern about ways to shrink in our company expenditure

and I always concern about how to boost up sales and enforce discipline on our staffs..


What if there is only one decision maker?


Me-- I will use many expenditure on buying new equipment and assets... the company will soon run out of funds..

My dad-- he will save a lot of money... but to the extend that the office will look like a warehouse... No computers... no nothing.. he will buy cheap stuffs for equipments.. Custumers will soon run away...

My mom-- there will be no sales.. she is bad at generating new ideas but she is good at rejecting ideas ONLY..

So technically it requires 3 of us to run the company smoothly... Currently we have a major crisis, as I am absence, My post is taken over by my dad.. i heard there are some complain about the quality of goods upon delivery causing customer to use it as a reason for delaying payment... i just found out that the budget of quality control has been reduced in order to allocate more fund for finding more alternative sales... Seriously, I am having a major headache here..

anyone , please save me... !!

Save eating budget

humans by nature are non-meat eater..

If you give a living chicken and an apple to a baby boy. The boy will instinctly eat the apple and play with the chicken. However , if you did the same to a baby wolf. the baby would will instictly eat the chicken and play with the apple. this is a basic nature of humans. Just like apes. Apes by nature eat fruits and plants, they only eat meat (ants and termites) to fulfill their diet , as supplementary.

I gonna try to come back to my own nature. Eat less meat and consume more vegetable. meat only serves a supplementary diet.

My religion says that animals and other creature are made for benefit of human being, when used wisely. It allows the follower to consume meat providing that the animals are slaughtered properly (quick-death method).

One good think being a veggie eater... It saves much in my eating budget... hahaha. providing that I do not eat from a vegetarian stall... cuz down there... the dishes cost just like a normal meat.. hahaha...

The Fading friendship...

I am mysterious guy. If u ever claim that u understand me.? think again...

this afternoon again I am evolved in total loneliness. during break I am very very free.. Too free that I am lonely.. I texted every single of my friends to meet for lunch... every single of them would either having lesson , some not even replied, and some who are free are eating with their other friends...

I really hate when my friends say...

" Sorry cant go out with you, I am going out with my 'friends' "

the word "friends" there... really offend me so much.. as if I am not one of their friends.. I would rather they name those "friends" by their name... even if I do not know who they are...

It is ironical. I am so not close to my classmate.. so no matter how much I do have friend... I will definitely left alone during break.. I supposed to study for my net-infra test.. which would commenced at 1 pm straight away after the break... but instead... I spent my time emo-ing in the library..

at 12.07pm I texted ada and yeow hon for lunch meet-up... ada took 15 minutes to answered and yeow hon didnt even replied.. I waited in the design canteen for another 20 minutes.. I call ada but she hung up... finally I saw them entering design canteen... but at that moment I was so pissed off that I just left away... they didnt notice me leaving away.. yeow hon was very furious at me.. but he didnt know my situation at that time.. I was panic so I reason to them that I actually went to toilet... and straight away went for my test due to time constrain


I was very hungry...later on at 2.13, i went to buy food at short circuit with indra and shi ting..

________
KYZ

I feel a very strong feeling that my friendship with KYZ is going to fade away very soon.

In a real ideal friendship, people do need 4 things to survive . these 4 things are,

Common interest
Common understanding
Common activity
and last but not least.. Common friend...

We have many common interests and good common understandings ... but we do not have a string common friend and common activity...

common friend... when I first made friend with him... I actually made friend with Jovina as well so that we can have common friends.. that will therefore strengthen our friendship. However, unfortunately jovina has left away, leaving me and KYZ together only...

where on earth there are guys who hang out together one to one only just both of them...
It is like weird.. no one would feel comfortable doing that in a long term basis..

besides I have tried my best to intro my friend to him... like yeow hon and ada.. but he is just too shy.. I cant fully enter his social cycle either.. since the friends he is close with are barely know me..

Common activity.. hahaha... so far i have been pulling KYZ to do cent stuff or just to do his stuff in cent room... and that is our common activity.. but I do feel he is not feeling comfortable with cent.. he feels so lost more than he always does .. he wouldnt come to cent room if he do not have valid purpose.. it is just so foreign to him.. this will definitely not going to work for long... It always needs two hand to clap..

I have been pondering about this today. and even yeow hon was mistakenly thought that I was emo... cuz of girl.. but actually... it is because of friendship... I do treasure friendship more than love... well considering the fact that I have never had gf before...and my parents and family are in indonesia... so the only source of my happiness is through friendship.. a true friendship..

I am quite sad.. every time I made new friend... I will always lose them in a nice or even hard way, if these four "common things" are not met.. but for now... I have suspected the worst for KYZ... at least when I really have to lose him.. I wouldnt feel so emotionally distress..

I am so worried for this that I actually i just realized.. i have been texting him day and night... non stop.. trying to keep in touch with him.. he wouldn't complain of course.. even when i asked him.. since he is a very nice guy... But my dear blog... I was not born yesterday... I can sense what he actually feels...

Love cant be forced... so does friendship... it always require two hand to clap..

God.. please help me on this.. he is a nice and wise friend of mine.. I would feel very sad to lose him... mhh..

after eating kfc with yeow hon , ada , and shafiq...I saw KYZ in the busstop with his friends.. I didnt say anything... I just wave blindly at him.. cuz his friends are greeting me.. my emotion was very high at that moment... even If i were to accidentally bump into barrack obama in the bus.. I would just fart on him unconsciously ... haiz... I am stress.. when I am stress I hate everyone...
___________________________________________________________________

tommorow morning is my CDS (moe) written test... I have not studied anything... but yet spending my time bloging... trying to reduce my stress.. ah... it is time for bed now... hopefully... tommorow will be a better day....

Let me start something new..

for the rest of the day, i kept thinking abt miue.. seriously.. this is getting no where..
I almost got crashed by motobike and pick up truck in front of my house... I lost all my thought... God.. plz help me to get over this..

She was a kind and benign girl back then, so helpful and much understanding... she wouldn;t see things only from one side point of view but rather from many different angles... but she has changed recently... she suspects me to much tht I cannot take it anymore... she have failed to realize that I am not an angle fallen from the heaven that has no feeling and emotion...

i am just like her... I can cry when I am sad and I can even get angry at times.. I am just a mere human being... I have never had quarrel with her before in my entire life... this is the first time and I hope it is gonna be last time..

I don't want to see her anymore... because her eyes can hypnotize my thought as it was an blessing from the heaven... as she speak I can hold no more but to listen and try my very best to help her.. no matter how much risk and suffering I must endure...

she is not the most beautiful gal i ever met on earth... but I just love her... for a reason ....reason? I just love her.. and I hope I can overcome this feeling soon... I don't want to see her anymore... nor do I want to chat with her anymore...

It seems to be my fault... I shouldn't ever like her ... I shouldn't love her... I should never know her in the first place..

let me just start something new from now on... let love comes naturally as how it goes away...

Dear God... I love you...

and yeow hon... you will always be my best friend in my heart... no one understands me better than you do...

kang yun zhong... you are a fun guy... you have thought me a lot of wisdom...

and to all my friends... i love all of you..


___________________________________________________________


Dear blog,

today I've made new friend... her name is siew ting she is a friend of indrani, the... indian girl remember?.. and siew ting knows debbie and shi ting too.. haha... she is fun gal to be friend with... yeah..



arh.. so much so for chit chatty... I wanna sleep now.. =) nitez...

anthony angry... sms..

yesterday I have no time to post this content.


this is the sms that anthony bombarded me yesterday.

A:

wat the fuck, u said u wanna make miue hate u cuz of u help me. huh? last time did u ask me to find some girls to talk to? N i said i dont wanna betray miue so i dont wanna find any girls to take to, didnt I. U think i need to gossip with her ah. I dont need to fucking gossip anyone, understand. I just told miue everything cuz at that day u said u more handsome n i told her wat the fuck we talked that day. better watch ur mouth.



D:

My friend anythony, i did mention u hv to make more friends.. girls also can.. but I have made my point.. you must come back to miue when she is back.. and totally break connection with those gals u made friend with if there is any.. this is my last clarification.. actually i am very tired with helping both of you.. my intention was good but either of you will suspect me.. I do have feeling dont u know.. i can cry and get sad just like both of you.. I am very tired alrd hiue (anthony).. I just get slammed by a gal yesterday.. and that add to my stress.. i hv totally break connection with miue.. i hope u are glad nw.. do anything u think is good for her.. dont bother me anymore.. I am very tired alrd..

A:what the fuck . why u dont dare to pick up?

A: shut the fuck up. who asked me got any girls in sg or not. find them to talk. did i say if u want girl just to fuck i will find for u? just dont talk w me abt that huh? listen. I knew that when miue in thailand u just u like her and try to flirt w her, said some fucking thing like ' i know you like me also'. I dont fucking care. if i mind u think i still c u normally like last time go w ken n william? if i mind, at that day , i'll ask you go somewhere to fight one on one understand. wat kind of fucking ppl make friends just for few days n when dont need to use then anymore then leave. or u r that kind? dont fuck w me. u said u cut connection with her n just know who the fuck chatted w her. I dont care who the fuck u r. if u wanna fuck with me. I'll play w u.

D: you can clarify with her, my friend.. Good nite..

A:Fuck this shit. If u wanna fuck w me, Im always ready..

D:Good night

A:Fuck you?

D:God bless you..

A:Fucking fucker

D:God really bless you..

A:shut the fuck up.

D:u will always be a good and kinf guy in my eyes.

A:wanna fight. meet me anytime.

D:Nope.. I dont like fighting.. and I wouldnt fight a good guy like you.... Go bless you..

A:fucking bullshit.

D:Bullshit is good for fertiliser.. Oh anyway.. late alrd la.. zzzz.. i wanna sleep.. good nite..

A:r u out of ur fucking mind ah? dont fuck w me . I wond b kind..

D:I very tired la anthony.. haiz

A:tired ah. Y dont u fucking die? it's better. just dont fuck w me. N i wont waste my time talking this fucking bullshit w u. got it?

D:The stop replying la.. I am sleeping half way then the handphone goes "ting, tong, ting, tong".. nvmd.. go sleep..la otherwise later u can get sick.. Zzzzzz


A:if u want to sleep so shut the fuck up.

D: Zzzz

A:I said shut the fuck up.

D: (I sent a blank msg)

A: good 4 you.

D: Thx.. See i told u, u are a good guy..

___________________________________________________________________________

you will never believe that i have been doing this for the past 7 month ... I cant believe I am so stupid..

Lunch today... Pinnaple fried rice... My favorite... yummy..

I ate 2 plate and vomited 2 times... you know why...? My maid had just told me they put lard into it... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............. I go hell alrd... T.T
I took the portion from the wrong tray... my non-lard fried rice is on the microwave..

good bye miue :''(

Today is a very fucked up day.. and this week is even more fucked up... haiz...

This is my very last conversation with miue..


___________________________________________________________________________
23/1/2010 10:35:31 PM Alexander Demetrius

you suddenly went online everyday

23/1/2010 10:35:32 PM Alexander Demetrius

haha

23/1/2010 10:35:36 PM Alexander Demetrius

shocking sia

23/1/2010 11:15:07 PM Alexander Demetrius

hihihih

23/1/2010 11:15:09 PM Alexander Demetrius

hello

23/1/2010 11:31:31 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]


last time,,u asked anthony to find a girl to talk to?


23/1/2010 11:31:52 PM Alexander Demetrius

no

23/1/2010 11:32:00 PM Alexander Demetrius

I ask him to find more friends

23/1/2010 11:32:05 PM Alexander Demetrius

make more friends

23/1/2010 11:32:26 PM Alexander Demetrius

guy and girl will do

23/1/2010 11:32:35 PM Alexander Demetrius

just to make him fill his time

23/1/2010 11:32:48 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

but he said u mentioned a girl

23/1/2010 11:32:52 PM Alexander Demetrius

ya la

23/1/2010 11:32:57 PM Alexander Demetrius

girl or guy

23/1/2010 11:33:12 PM Alexander Demetrius

cuz that time he is very stress

23/1/2010 11:33:30 PM Alexander Demetrius

why?

23/1/2010 11:33:37 PM Alexander Demetrius

he said tt u said a girl only

23/1/2010 11:34:04 PM Alexander Demetrius

haiz

23/1/2010 11:34:23 PM Alexander Demetrius

I cant remember... but I made my point.. he had to make more friends

23/1/2010 11:35:23 PM Alexander Demetrius

if he really want to u to hate me, becoz of I helping him that time... then it is up to you to think

23/1/2010 11:35:30 PM Alexander Demetrius

but for certain

23/1/2010 11:35:36 PM Alexander Demetrius

I did mention to him

23/1/2010 11:35:45 PM Alexander Demetrius

dont betray miue

23/1/2010 11:35:57 PM Alexander Demetrius

when miue is back

23/1/2010 11:36:38 PM Alexander Demetrius

get dont talk anymore to all those... if any... friend of girl... whom u made friend
with earlier

23/1/2010 11:37:11 PM Alexander Demetrius

do u get my point?

23/1/2010 11:45:08 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

ic

23/1/2010 11:45:14 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

u hv a chat log right?

23/1/2010 11:45:20 PM Alexander Demetrius

chat log?

23/1/2010 11:45:23 PM Alexander Demetrius

whats that?

23/1/2010 11:45:58 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

ur conversation w anthony

23/1/2010 11:46:06 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

it's kept in ur com right?

23/1/2010 11:46:12 PM Alexander Demetrius

no...

23/1/2010 11:46:20 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

?

23/1/2010 11:46:21 PM Alexander Demetrius

it is in my indonesian computer

23/1/2010 11:46:27 PM Alexander Demetrius

nad now under repair

23/1/2010 11:46:36 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

ic

23/1/2010 11:46:43 PM Alexander Demetrius

why?

23/1/2010 11:46:49 PM Alexander Demetrius

seriously...

23/1/2010 11:46:56 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

nth

23/1/2010 11:46:57 PM Alexander Demetrius

u suspect me that bad eh

23/1/2010 11:47:02 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

jt wannc c

23/1/2010 11:47:05 PM Alexander Demetrius

haiz

23/1/2010 11:48:18 PM Alexander Demetrius

I will ask my bro to retrive it... but I dont know if lost or not... becuse it may not be saved... since I just set my msn to "save the conversation" history few weeks ago

23/1/2010 11:48:43 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

icic

23/1/2010 11:48:57 PM Alexander Demetrius

see

23/1/2010 11:49:03 PM Alexander Demetrius

anythony angry with me now

23/1/2010 11:49:08 PM Alexander Demetrius

he msg me

23/1/2010 11:49:14 PM Alexander Demetrius

mis understanding again

23/1/2010 11:49:17 PM Alexander Demetrius

seriously

23/1/2010 11:49:38 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

no idea

23/1/2010 11:49:42 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]


i only told him what u told me

23/1/2010 11:49:57 PM Alexander Demetrius

I cant bare with this anymore

23/1/2010 11:50:00 PM Alexander Demetrius

i swear

23/1/2010 11:50:16 PM Alexander Demetrius

you solve ur prob urself

23/1/2010 11:50:22 PM Alexander Demetrius

i hate both of you

23/1/2010 11:50:26 PM Alexander Demetrius

haiz

23/1/2010 11:50:39 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]



prob?

23/1/2010 11:50:42 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

what prob?

23/1/2010 11:50:48 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

dis isn't my prob

23/1/2010 11:51:00 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

ya i hate u too

23/1/2010 11:52:30 PM Alexander Demetrius

good... save ur word for another time... good bye...

23/1/2010 11:55:21 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]

= =

23/1/2010 11:55:27 PM [b]|[a=1] [c=#FF5BAD]ßr[/c][c=#FF6FB7]it[/c][c=#FF80C0]nëi[/c][c=#FF91C8]i£i¢[/c][c=#FF8CC6]ioûs[/c] [/a]|[/b]


like i care!!!!!!!!!!!!


_____________________________________________________________________


maybe you can deduce what have I concluded for my friendship and relationship as friend with miue for 3 years and 7 months..

I finally give it a break... I am really tired with both of them.. no will be able to endure so much pain like me..

maybe she just doesnt realize I actually cry when I said that... seriously..
Siew ting was right... when u are tired of loving .. maybe u can give it a break...

maybe for the next one week I will have a deep traumatic stress disorder.. but I believe I have to endure this by my own...

here is another funny conversation with yun zhong... wahahaha...
...................

*MiD-Cl0uD*-, ~Slack Mode: 1~ says:
lol.. yea..
after nxt wk..
coz i hav alot of quiz nxt wk..
gg..

Alexander Demetrius says:
haha
study lor
I can help u if u need help
I can study my stuff and u study ur stuff.. we can study together

-*MiD-Cl0uD*-, ~Slack Mode: 1~ says:
lol..

Alexander Demetrius says:
why lol
funny meh

-*MiD-Cl0uD*-, ~Slack Mode: 1~ says:
lol.. actually is abit weird when u say i can study my stuff tat part.. bt oso abit funny.. hahz..

Alexander Demetrius says:
hahhaa
wtf
pervert

-*MiD-Cl0uD*-, ~Slack Mode: 1~ says:
wa..
where gt sia..
lol..

Alexander Demetrius says:
wa lau
yun zhong can think pervertive way hor
cant believe
u still have enough hormone to think that way
gg liao

-*MiD-Cl0uD*-, ~Slack Mode: 1~ says:
lol..
wth..

....................................

I have been calling Yeow hon for more than 7 times today... haha..Seriosly damn bored today.

In the afternoon my ex-public speaking teacher called be and she asked me to go to her house which is apparently only 16 metres away from my condo... she ask me to do a demonstration of a good comprehensible speech with my sexy indonesian accent , .. yeah... "sexy" that's what she said.. hahah... i only come out with the accent when I do speech or formal speaking... you wont believe it.. i did the demo of impromptu speech... in front of 2 university graduates . they were scholars from china. and I had made friend with them.. they were amused when I actually spoke a lil bit of chinese... ^^

I am very sad... yesterday..

my dear diary... do u know who is yun zhong? hahah.. of course you know... I have been mentioning his name several time..

people wonders why do i so admire him...

he is not a mere "guai" guy whom most of the people think. He has a good quality of character that only some people will understand. and yesh. he is handsome. but that is not the point. Millions of people out there are far more handsome than him, but still cant outreach yun zhong over all quality as a person.

1.) he is honest.
2.) he is helpful.
3.) he is sincere.
4.) talk less and he listen more

there is the reason why we have

one mouth: so that we can talk less
2 ears : listen more than we talk
2 eyes and one heart: to believe more on what we see rather than what we feel.

Let me give you some example of good quality that Yun Zhong has.

Me : what would you do if there is a naked beutiful + hot girl standing
in front of you?

my friends:

Cash : I will ask her to do a blow job for me
Nick : I will rape her till she cry, cuz it is her fault, why she has to be naked
in front of a guy.
ben : I will call a mental hospital and arrest her at one.
Others: I will fuck her la... duh... she is asking for it.



Yun zhong : I will find a cloth to cover her body. and ask her why she is naked.


I was shocked to the core when I hear him says that.this is the quality of good person that amongst of million handsome guy I ever met before do not have. Now I do understand a lil bit, why sometime look does not matter much.

This is a valuable lesson that i learn from him.

Yesterday I am very very sad. go and watch the recent video and you know why. but u need to have good command of Indonesian, javanese, chinese and english language. cuz I talked in 4 different language at different time. so the more of those language you know. the more you will understand the message of my video.

I called yun zhong at night. He said several times that he cant help me much in my love problem. cuz he hardly fall in love. We just chatted about some other thing, and finally after 1 hour and 49 minutes of talking to him, I feel much much better. thank you very much. and yeah. I apologized to him for innitially blaming him for not telling me about the msg shi ting showed him. Cuz innitially i thought if only I know that earlier... things will be much better.. But after all, it doesn't give me much guarantee.

Muie went online before I called yun zhong. finally after so long she finally went online. but to my surprice, she has change a lil bit. mhh.. I dont know ... she is abit bo chup now. I told her, I just kana slammed by a girl, that girl whom I told you has the same birthdate as you!!

miue laughed at me.

' you are a good guy, one day you will find a gf... trust me.. let it come naturally...'

what on earth... that sentence is freakin so familiar to my ears..


Today. when i woke up ,Everyone in my whole homestay tell me I look so handsome.. Wht
the hell.. is this some kind of prank shit.

i forgot to tell you my diary. One week a go, a dutch businessman aged around 30 years old come and have a chat with me at starbucks. he is quite handsome and tall. we were initially talking about economy and politics... a hot topic that I really like. after few hours of chatting suddenly he write a blank check of S$4000, and ask me to fill in my own name..

he : would you have to have sex with me. Here is some cash for you.

Me: no... fuck ... get lost...

i straight away leave the table. but he called me back. when I turn back. he added one more zero . it becomes $S40000.

He : what about this amount? just some BJ will do.

me : hell no.. Even if u gave me one billion dollars I wouldn't want to do that. shit. i am not gay.and for sure i am not gigolo.

I kick his chair and left away. everyone who was around was giggling like hell. Luckily it was it night, so no much people around. or else i would have murdered him on the spot.

seriously this is not the first time it happens to me in my life. i really think. if only I am a gay . perhaps I would be very very rich.. hahaha









few moments later... this is what happen to me..



haha... miue was laughing like hell when she saw that video... >.<
maybe this is what people says.. "post traumatic stress disorder'... lolx

sad... 1 month ago

siew ting ,yunzhong, indra

huih... I am very hungry...

1st. I have skipped my lunch and dinner yesterday
2nd. I only have 6 bucks on my wallet
3rd. I dont want to borrow anyone's money...

yesterday we have cent AGM... mhh.. yun zhong is helping me as usher and indra, siew ting , shiting and debbie... is having duty on reception counter..

Kel was agitated and terrified, as he told me that SHT has sent him some "charm" matra... well... I didnt believe it was a charm and if it is she wouldn't sent it only to kelvin.. when I read the msg... I was just thinking it as a typical chain msg...

Talking abt obsession and all... I talk to SHT that my case would nt be much different than her... Debbie and indra has been annoying me by telling I am obssessed with yun zhong.. I like yun zhong .. and love yun zhong and all.. this actually really annoys me.. do u know why...

kel turn against SHT partly because his friend is making him embarrassed by telling him SHT like kel...

and if yun zhong are annoyed because of debbie's and indra's Joke... mhh.. my situation will not be as different as SHT now.. and I will start chopping their heads off... (wuih... deme is so fierce mah... wink wink... lolx)

yesterday I dreamt ... siew ting and indra come to me...

Siew ting : have to try out the password?
me : what password?
indra : your computer password...
me : I dont know what was it... it was hacked..
siew ting : try "hougang"...
me : when I pressed hougang.. the computer is able to sign in...
me : wow... siew ting... how come u know...
siew ting : I read from my cards...
indra : you think only u who can read the cards... she also can...
siew ting : hahaha...


wow... i cant believe siew ting has magic power.. well then I chatted with her for a lil while...

me : siew ting... do u know the magical charm that can lure someone heart..
ST :of course i know... you?
me : know to... but why didnt u use it on JSS?
ST : because thats the law.. you cant use it for ur own good...
u must use it for other's good..
me : thats the same to me... If i can I would do it on miue..
Me : well... let me put a charm on JSS to like you and you put a charm on miue to like me..


st smiles at me.. and she closes her eyes... from far far away I can see miue is walking towards me... and for the first time in my life i can see her talking to me nicely...

i close my eyes and did the same to JSS.. JSS falls on the siew ting knees and ask for her forgiveness ...

it was just for 5 mins... a thunder strucks... anthony came to me and stab me from the back.. while JSS... millions of girls came to him and drag him away from siew ting... ST cries endlessly..

all of sudden we were revived in the other dimension.. A wise monk came to us... and guess who was that... that was YUN ZHONG... yun zhong was actually a reincarnation of the tong san cai... a monk that bring tripitaka to china from india, with the help of monkey god.. WTH..

Monk yun zhong : You should put ur detiny into ur own hands.. your detiny has been written... and you shall not cheated on pursuing it...

a bright light shines on us.. and I was suddenly banished into saharan desert.. siew ting as I can see in my mind... she was banished to northpole... and Yun zhong was banished to Tibet, where he met dalai lama there and achieve a perfect salvation, and enlightenment....

Indrany who was the queen of india come to tibet to look for yunzhong... she needs a wisdom to run her nation perfectly...

then... i woke up from my dream...


dear blog... did u really understand what my dream really means?

my best friends

yesterday I went to follow YH and AD to tm 1. Ada is searching for a black pants for cent AGM today. after that we went to eat BBq chicken. Ada and YH had a quarell, yeah... and I try to peace them down... but YH go and made me feel offended... he said " If I tell ST you are gay, how u feel?" and straight away I lost all my respect to him.

1st. I am not gay
2nd. I am being kind for trying to peace YH and AD.
3rd. why he has to bring ST's name into conversation?

Well... maybe I will just have to understand him.. he has the highest ego in the world.. and me has the most sensitive heart in the world .. and AD, has both...but not as high and YH's and mine...

through all these differences... we are still best friends.. maybe that is the very fact that unite us... I am glad to be their friend...

freakzzz

I have just had my digicom quiz... out of 3 qtn I only ans 2 question ... which worth 10 marks upon 20 marks...

I am screwed... as I finished earlier than the other... i spent my time walking toward en13.3 I saw the notice board again... I am not there.. all the name written on the approved subcom list there I couldnt recognise... except for KANG YUN ZHONG...

who cares... if I am not accpeted.. right at the end of en13.3 I saw BB people.. I shall not mention who... they were looking at me and gave me the sinister smile.. I dont know wht is in their brain... I will never know... I just quickly left before I couldnt let my tears drop... I couldnt afford to admit my defeat infront of them..

I know for certain...
I have been defeated in so many war... and always I have to rise up by my own... even when I am fallen again... I still have to rise up again... otherwise I will just be a wicked person ...

God please make me strong... I am just a feeble servant of yours..

Yesterday i chatted with yunzhong while he is sketching some bull clip... for his CDS.. He is a quiet person with million of secrets.. I am glad he could trust me some of his stories...

If only I could be as quiet as him.. maybe people will be more fond to know me better... I talk to much... sometimes it annoys people... I share all my probs with most of my close friend... making me left open and therefore no incentive for my friend to know me better...

haiz... life is the most unfair thing ever happen in my life...

let me give you some why...

why am I ugly?

Why am I not chinese and for the fact that I most of the time fall in love with chinese?

Why am I so talkative?

why no one (girls) loves me..?
-only gays and some siao cha bor will like me so far...I get really pissed off..

why I didnt have the lure which josses has?

why do I have to love girls who are either attached or her heart is somewhere for another guy?

why am I not rich... ?


most of the time I feel so pissed.. not all the time tough.. some people can turn my day around all of sudden...

such are.

yeow hon
adawiyah
yunzhong
miue
siew ting
indra

warm regards to them... specially to yeow hon.. and yun zhong...and of course.. miue... ^^

Why do i have to tremble upon seeing you...?

Di blok gw bnayk sekali mata mata yang ingin bener bener ngerti apa yang ada dalam isi hati aku... kadang2x gw try my best to encode apa apa yang gw ingin tulis jadinya gak semua orang isa ngerti apa isi blog gw... nah... posting ini adalah yang paling penting uat gw..


barusan gw pergi liat tag boardnya si... you know who!!... di situ ditulis indrany nanya mengenai laki2x yang disukai you know who... and apakah you know who akan menerima cinta cowok itu... tapi si you know who malah ilang di ahasa inggris... "tentu saja tidak, kau tau siapa yang aku suka.. bagaimana bisa aku menerimanya"

ah taik... siapa lagi cowok itu... dalam hati gw berkecamuk...

Siapa lagi.. apakah cowo itu gw... ato alvin tan... ato joses... gw gak tau... yang jelas gw langsung sakit hati setelah ngebaca itu tag... meledak jantung gw... hancur berkeping keping gila...

Gw nyesel.. bener deh... seharusnya gw ndengering apa si kata you know who... dia ngelarang aku untuk baca blognya.. tapi gw ngotot... dasar taik... cowo sableng...

udah tau sensitif masih aja berani berani ngeliat blog cewe yang lu suka... kalo jawapannya sengsara kayak gini gimana... kan lu jg yang malu kelimpungan...

ah ya tuhan... gw harap gw gak pernah tahu jawapan itu... semoga jawapan itu bukan tertuju buat gw... gw bener2x sakit hati...

gw cape dengan semua ini... beneran... pengen bunuh diri aja rasanya...

banyangin aja dia ada nemplok di depan gw... tapi gw diam aja... gak ngomong apa apa... sakit gemeternya kalo ngeliat muka dia... ya tuhan... gila gw GILA........... ngehe banget sih...


mungkin mesti gw nyanyiin lagu ebiet GAD... persis banget dengan situasi gw

.........
Mengapa aku mesti duduk di sini...
sedang kau tepat didepanku
mestinya aku berdiri..
berdiri kedepanmu..
kusapa...


Artist : Ebiet G.Ade
Lirik Lagu : Ebiet G.Ade - Lagu Untuk Sebuah Nama

Ebiet G.Ade - Lagu Untuk Sebuah Nama
(the english translation is my own translation... do pardon grammar errors)


Mengapa jiwaku mesti bergetar
sedang musikpun manis kudengar
mungkin karena kulihat lagi
lentik bulu matamu
bibirmu dan rambutmu yang kau biarkan
jatuh berderai di keningmu
makin mengajakku terpana
kau goreskan gita cinta

Why my body has to tremble..
Even when the melody is being heard...
Maybe it is because I see again
Your majestic eyebrows
Your lips, and your hair which u let it sway...
Spread cross your forehead..
they really lure my attention
as you try to steal the only and my only love..



mengapa aku mesti duduk disini
sedang kau tepat didepanku
mestinya ku berdiri berjalan kedepanmu
kusapa dan kunikmati wajahmu
atau kuisyaratkan cinta
tapi semua tak kulakukan
kata orang cinta mesti berkorban

Why must I sit nicely right here...
tough you are right there in front of me
I should be standing and walk towards you
I should greet you or just to adore your beautiful smile
Or maybe I will just demonstrate the sign of love
But I didn’t do all of that...
Even when people tell me... "Love requires sacrifices"



mengapa dadaku mesti bergoncang
bila kusebutkan namamu
sedang kau diciptakan bukanlah untukku
itu pasti ..tapi aku tak mau perduli
sebab cinta bukan mesti bersatu
biar kucumbui bayanganmu
dan kusandarkan harapanku


Why my chest would shiver
Whenever I mention you name
Even tough you are created, created not for me..
That’s certain... but yet I choose to ignore..
Cuz I believe love is not always meant to unite
Just let me admire your shadows
Even when i have to discards all my hopes..

utterings

I am not accepted in program subcom for the week zero...

serious... ESC , beyond boundaries... I dont know what they are planning on me again..

I have been away on my quite but yet peaceful exile in cent club.. I feel like a prisoner that always be showered by happiness and blessing...

hahaha...

Maybe they know ... someday I will surely come back... perhaps... they have been blacklisting me... who knows... YUN ZHONG was acceptted in prog subcom... why?? just maybe... just maybe... he is close to BB main com who are mostly the main managements of power of esc.. yeah..

I wish I am just as attractive as yunzhong... he is has a power or lure...deep in his appearance he has a blue aura that can alter ones impression and feeling... he is quiet... yes he is.. but his silence and quiet itself actually is main weapon... people would want to know him more... they would get close to him even more... because he has lots of things hidden that is not yet to be shared.....

This is my vow to myself..
i will never forget those who have politically put me into this exile... every single of them.. they will pay for it... someday.. somehow.. some when..

it has been almost 10 years... these are the list of girls I ever fall in love with.. and adjacent to the name it is my age when I fall in love...

Sheila 8
Dara 11
mary 13
nesya 14
nata 15
soraya 16
pink lim 17
cassie 17
adawiyah B Muhammad John 18
mega yessy 18
jessie 18
elvira 18
miue 19
**** **** 19
** **** 19

and these are the list of My guy friend or used to be one whom either I adore them so much that I wanted to like them or they are by good friend...

wanda 8
agung 9
rendy 11
adi 13
mui 14
Desmond 15
kenneth foo 15
sean fang 15
leonard lee 15
Bustamin kosmo 15
alexander eng zhen an emmanuel 17
Tan yu qiang 17
chua yeow hon 18
Peng chen 18
marcus wong 19
kang Yun zhong 19

This is my wishes on what I wanna be in future from time to time...

Pilot 4
doctor 5
doctor 6
movie star 7
movie star 8
Ash (a human character in pokemon) 9
Bezita ( a human character in dragon ball) 10
movie star 11
Sexologist 12
fortune teller and black magician 13
Fortune teller and black magician 14
movie star 15
sexologist 16
movie star 17
movie director 18
The richest business man in the world 19



___________________________________________________

well for most... my stories of being 19 years old has almost end... it will end on 28 march this year.. I hope at my second decade of living on earth.. I can be attractive..

mhh God... if u remembered... when I was young I always pray and wish to you that one day I could be a movie star... hahaha... and that wished was burned when I start to realise that I dont have a good physical appearance.. T.T and I have downgrade my dream ... just to be a movie director..hahaha wht other thing I should downgrade again...

I am tired... I am tired.. I am tired.. I am tired.. I am tired.. I am tired..

sleepless night

It is night time 1am in the morning.. and I cant find any other activity... I feel like singing a chinese song... yeah.. Lau shu ai da mi...

yun zhong went online just now to show me is new drawing.. tell u what... It was awesome... very very awesome.. It hand evolved from a sharp pointed edge bed that will sounds so painful if u were to sleep on it .. into a realistic picture of bedroom.. wah.. He is really a fast learner.. ^^








《老鼠爱大米》

我听见你的声音
有种特别的感觉
让我不断想不敢再忘记你
我记得有一个人
永远留在我心中
哪怕只能够这样的想你
如果真的有一天
爱情理想会实现
我会加倍努力好好对你永远不改变
不管路有多么远
一定会让它实现
我会亲亲在你耳边对你说(对你说)
我爱你爱着你
就像老鼠爱大米
不管有多少风雨我都会依然陪着你
我想你想着你
不管有多么的苦
只要能让你开心我什么都愿意
这样爱你
我听见你的声音
有种特别的感觉
让我不断想不敢再忘记你
我记得有一个人
永远留在我心中
哪怕只能够这样的想你
如果真的有一天
爱情理想会实现
我会加倍努力好好对你永远不改变
不管路有多么远
一定会让它实现
我会亲亲在你耳边对你说(对你说)
我爱你爱着你
就像老鼠爱大米
不管有多少风雨我都会依然陪着你
我想你想着你
不管有多么的苦
只要能让你开心我什么都愿意
这样爱你
我爱你爱着你
就像老鼠爱大米
不管有多少风雨我都会依然陪着你
我想你想着你
不管有多么的苦
只要能让你开心我什么都愿意
这样爱你

pergi aku membentang Malam..

Didnt I said also... I could even fell emo even when I am in a happy environment... haiz... u know where am I...? I am at cent room .. yun zhong has just left..the time is now 5:33 am.. siew ting , indra and shi ting is all around me.. I am happy.. but I am emoing...

Suara hati yang bergema dari dinding dinding langit
biarlah membaur dalam angan...
bangkang aku... biarlah aku seperti hamba hamba mu yang membangkang
aku memang laknat..
aku memang khianat..

Aku tetap bercumbu diatas pacuan api
yang semakin lama semakin gila panasnya..
aku memang hamba pembangkang
aku memang hamba lemah yang selalu berfikir dapat bertahta di atas singgahsana langit..
sedang tuhan di sana adalah sang maha bijaksana
sedang langit tetaplah bijak
menilai apa apa yang berlaku di kandungannya...

bila aku bernyanyi...
senandung sedih yang bergaung di hatiku
daun daun mengering
sementara matahari enggan tertahta di langit
hanya gelap
dan malam tanpa bintang
yang menemani senyapku
bersama dengan kunang kunang
yang enggan berpendar..

airmataku bila bila berubah menjadi salji
dan salji itu
adalah jelmaan cintaku
jelmaan kasihku yang tidak pernah terwujud..

Terdamparnya aku..
di dermaga hatimu..
adalah bukti..
bahwa denyut nadiku masih satu...
airmataku masih membajiri hatimu
dan diantara ruang ruang lapang yang tersisa
aku hanyalah debu
yang bergerak bersama bayu
terbang dan berpecah
tanpa pernah ingin pulang
kembali ke naunganku
yang dahulu...

In the library

HEY... I am now in the library... 30 more minutes will be my netinfra labtest.. mhh =) dont know.. I feel strongly if i can pass today without no problems my days ahead will be much better... you know what is my weaknesses ..? let me share to you...

My weaknesses is being alone.. I am scared of being alone, thinking that I dont have friends around though infact I have plenty of them.. those friend are most of the time busy with their own schedule... well thats not their own fault.. cuz they are not even my classmate or course mate... for my course and class... sadly... I dont have any T.T... pretty sad ha.. but that is the fact I must accept...

people that knows me... just barely know me will think that I have lots of friend , I always too busy with them and I hardly get emotic... hahaha... trust me.. I actually spend 90% of my free time in school sitting down on the empty corner of the campus doing nothing.. sometimes I even cry ... maybe some wonders why wouldnt I go and msg some of my friend and find out if they are free?

hahaha.. last time I did that method.. till i got too sick of msging my friend.. most of them are either hanging around with their classmate during recess or have projects to do.. the only time they have for me is... if there is any... during weekends or after school... which of course I wouldnt need them to be around anymore...

well seriously... Not their fault at all.. I shouldnt be so cold to my classmate and course mate in the first place... really.. I shouldnt.. cuz that would lead me to a total chain reaction of me being emo...

being emo alone will not kill me... ha? why? ... dear diary... I am emoing most of the time... even when I am happy.. hahaha.. this is just... me.. Alexander demetrius... a dude who were born almost 20 years and who has not done anything significant yet even till he turn 20...

I seldom potray emo-shit character to my friend... I want them to believe and to always believe that I am a strong guy who can handle my own prob...

when I look onto my face in the mirror this morning.. I got a shock... I saw a lesbian face on the mirror... argh... yeah... that lesbian face is my face... >.< my newly cut hair makes me look like a lesbian retard...

Yunzhong told me yesterday that he actually cut his hair... hahaha... cant wait to see how he looks now... maybe... just maybe... he will looks like even more "prettier " than me... hahahahahahha...

الله أكبر

أنا مجرد شاهد شريط فيديو من يوتيوب. فهي تتحدث عن الإسلام الراديكالي ، والتي تهمني حقا. أنا حقا يهيمون على وجوههم ما هي تلك التي يفكر الناس عندما يقتلون الأبرياء باسم الله. ما هو بالضبط في الدماغ. كانوا يتحدثون عن الصراخ وأمريكا لكونها الشر كما كانت من كافر ، ولكن حتى الآن هم أنفسهم تصوير فعل لا تصلح أن تكون كما دعا المسلمين أو هؤلاء الذين يلتزمون الإسلام دينهم وطريقتهم في الحياة.

mhh....

It has been 2 weeks now... my room air cond has not been repaired yet... I am burning hot here... At night must sleep half naked till I got cough again... in the noon... dont mention it... you wouldn't want to know... lolx...

yesterday i woke up at 5pm .. waa after almost 14 hour of sleep.. ^^ both yeow hon and ada still not in good term... i dont know until when... but I believe it will not be for long ^^... they are a very good friend...

At the evening I went to library to borrow some books... I called indriany who were well .. "emoing" in the punggol beach... really I wonder what would a girl wnt to a punggol beach alone if not for "emoing".. nonetheless she refuse to admit it ^^..

then later I called siew ting , indrany , then siew ting again... >.< ... I wanted to call yunzhong but he was busy... so yeah.. I rather call girl often rather than boys... though in fact I talk better with boys...

Mhh... i am 20 this year... In my 20th birthday.. I really hope I can be as handsome as yunzhong but at the same time I could be as attractive as joses when it comes into girls.. >.<


here is biodata for this year...

Name : Dimas Bayumutirama
Chinese name: 李风友
english name: Alexander Demagnetha Demetrius
DOB : 28 march 1990
hobby : Fishing , hanging out, watch movie
F. food : Unagi >.< , salty food
Non-F food : Black chocolate, basically all sweet food.

hatez : Siao cha bor, alchohols, ciggarate, tobbacos,
metalic songs

Likez : Pop song, chinese song, humorous song, girls ^^ ...

best friends: yeow hon, adawiyah, bustamin, yunzhong, siewting and gang,
joey, zubaidah and gang, luqman ang, miue, william....

languages : Indonesian, english, malay, mandarin, javanese, arabic, french.


我越来越爱她。。 我不知道她的感觉跟我像我跟她一样吗？我真的想知道。但是我根本没有胆量告诉她我是多么爱她。