Friday, April 11, 2008

chris acts like alex.. alex unblock me...

few days ago I asked my good friend ,christopher, regarding which one he thought is better... learning technical skill or business skill of both the same fields...?

chris = teachnical skill

me= why? (i expected an intelligent ans..)

chris= because I dont like business stuff, and my mom say I am not good at business..


me= plz give me a more intelligent answer that can be accepted by me...

chris = for what?

me = I am a lil confused weather I should tranfer from media and communication tech course to media and communication management course... I want to know which course that will thought me a skill more demanded in the future...

chris = I dont know... don ask me... thats ur future... your life.... your decision....

me= why the hell u suddenly act jus like alex...!!

chris = no offence... but it's true.... u must make ur own decision...


I was really pissed off and left him alone for a moment... I kept asking why nowadays christopher seemed to start acting like alex.. or perhaps that's just because of my over sensitiveness...duh.... I really didnt know...

recently I have so many friend.... I cant have a day of loniness.. I am very glad abt that... but somehow when I hang out with them... I feel there is amiss... mhh... Perhaps that missing 'thing' is alexander... I just feel bad knowing he is no longer be around... no longer he regards me as his friend, unlike last time... I just cant resist to halt a grieve... it seems to have stucked on my throat...

few moments ago... I saw alexander msn account was online.... It seemed he was just unblock my msn... I was excited for a moment.. it seemed god hath ans my prayer...

I asked myself what to do next...


me= I am really confused what to do... should i apologise...

myself = what are u going to fucking apologise for?

me= I dont know...

myself= exactly, now just shut up... since there is nothing impt to say... and i tell u what... he just fucking doesnt care abt u... every word u say... is a liability to him... bare in mind... he has changed.... he is no longer the alexander u knew last year... and the way he talked barely represents his character.. he just couldnt resist saying vulgarities to u.... not at all... he just doesnt respect u at all...

me= hey... why are u provoking me here ha....!! this is my life... my prob... my solution... so fuck off...

myself= hw can u say that... I am you... u are me... use ur brain....!!

me=just ... just.... shut up... and leave me alone!!

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for a moment i thought I was undergoing a real mental disorder due to hyperexcitement and hyperconfusion... but later on I realised... that was just an over-depressed respons due to the lack of self esteem...

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