Convo with james ,silat training is tiring...

This morning before class.... james asked me...

James= hi Demetri!! i did visited ur blog yesterday... anyway.. why didn't u bother abt the people who try to irritate u by putting nasty comments on ur tag board?

Demetrius=
Those are not nasty comments... those are facts abt me... well sometimes as what they say, I behave like gay and I irritate people like hell until they are damn angry , just like kenneth foo , he was one of the victim.. =(

You see, everytime I see their 'nasty' comments, I am became reminded not do such things... and it really helps me in improving my character...


james=
but.. you are nt gay rite? anyway u dont look like one...

demetrius=
Of course I am nt... hahha...

james= and who are these , kenneth foo, ABCs and alexander eng...?

demetrius= hahaha , they are all just my friends.. =)

james=
I think u had dark past man, but thats ok... because I do believe that u have a bright future..

demetrius=
haaha... whatever... =/

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today I have a good day... I opted silat as my cca... hahaha... during my training today.. I saw alex and matthew chen walking by, but it seemed that they deliberately ignoring my presence... lolx that's ok... cuz I didnt really care abt them..

Silat training was quite fun, except that my lips was bleeding because I failed to defend myself against the upwards kick of my opponent... all of the trainer and senior offered me help for that "accident", but I just answered solemly , "nah, I am ok, I am used to that".... haha what a crap...

I learned how to kick in different way...

Front kick, side kick, left kick , right kick, and cresent kick...

Nothing much different with I did learn 4 years ago in indonesia... but that's alright, I can recall alot of movement that I have forgotten for a very long time ...

I made new friends here... their name were zul... and fitri... haha... they are really fun man...

On my way home, I felt really tired and my lips are still soring... out of the blue, an old lady who was holding some plastic-bags full with purchases approached me. She requested my assitance to help bring her purchases to her residence which was nt far away... I did help her.. after that she said...

"Thanks alot boy, you are very kind, hopefully god will pay back your kindness.."

and I replied, " ah, that's ok... "

I continued walking on my way home while i kept smiling at myself.. and I felt that suddenly I had just lost all my fatigue and the pain on my lips disappear.... =)

=.="

Today I went out with edmund for movie...
The movie was entittled "midnight eagle"....
It was damn faking boring...
The japs on the movie kept talking endlessly and there was no impressring climax during he show... haha.. thats ok... Going out with edmund was fun enough for me...
His mouth couldt shut up and he kept talking cock since we met all the way till we departed ,and i couldnt stop giggling... lolx..

this is my faking lame, msn convo with him just now...


||||>>----------Alexander Demagnetha Demetrius----------<<||||says:
hey





||||>>----------Alexander Demagnetha Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
wht was the movie we watched today




||||>>----------Alexander Demagnetha Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
?




AcE- "Even if the world decays, there are some things that won't change" says:
midnight eagle



||||>>----------Alexander Demagnetha Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
haha




||||>>----------Alexander Demagnetha Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
I will be more interested if the tittle was "midnight 'chicks' "



||||>>----------Alexander Demagnetha Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
huahaha



AcE- "Even if the world decays, there are some things that won't change" says:
lol

Today ...Yay!!

comparison of my friend and enemy (not in order) between by this time last 3 years ago last 2 years ago , last year and today...


Last 3 years ago

friends =

Bustamin kosmo (best friend),
Leonard cheah,
sean fang,
kenneth foo,
nicholas lee,
edwin ho,
brayn ho,
anthony lim,
many more.. (almost the every person whom i recognise)


enemy =

none

____________________________________________________________________

Last 2 years ago..

friends =

Bustamin kosmo (good friend),
benjamin lim (best friend),
matthew han,
kunal mulani,


enemy (those who hates me)=

kenneth foo,
leonard,
sean fang,
anthony lim,
ABCs...
edmund leong
____________________________________________________________________
Last year ....

friends =

Bustamin kosmo (good friend),
kunal,
shaik,


Enemy and those who hate me=

matthew han,
kenneth foo,
benjamin lim,
matthew chen,
anthony lim (perhaps)
ABCs..

____________________________________________________________________


TODAY YAY!!

Good Friends =

Bustamin Kosmo (Best friend),
Yu qiang (best friend),
chrisopher santa maria (best friend),
colin santa maria,
edmund leong (best friend),
danial kassim,
sri,
fahzea,
cassandra,
qian pink,
qian yu,
johannes,
budi lontong,
andy hartono,
nesha (jo's friend),
jin yee,
jun li,
kelly,
cornelius siman,
Alexander Eng zhen an emmanuel
( i consider him as good freind..but he may think differently) ,
robert,
kid,
james,
max,
nai wang,
kevin,
many more
(those close to me whom I had forgotten to mention, plz dun get pissed off!! you are still my good friend )


Friends=

Crossby,
Gerard pek,
poom,
soot tin,
cornelius lee,
kunal mulani
and almost every single person that I know recently...


Enemy =

none


Those who hate me=

kenneth foo ( I have tried to recouncil but to no avail) - i dont recognise him as enemy anyway-
ABCs (i dont regard them as enemy as well)
____________________________________________________________________

Thx god for gift of friendship you have given me, I am so grateful to you =) ..
____________________________________________________________________

Thales' wisdoms . MUST SEE!!

Thales is one of the most great greek philosopher..

This is the interesting quote abt him from the " early greek philosophy " book I have just read.

___________________________________________________________________
The following aphorism are ascribred to him. Of existing things,

god is the oldest - for he is ungenerated.
The world is the most beutiful- for it is god's creation.
Space is the greatest - for its includes everything.
Mind is the swiftest - for it runs through everything.
necessity is the strongest - for it controls everything.
Time is the wisest - for it discovers everything.

He said that death is no different than life. "then why dont you die?" someone asked him. " Because it makes no difference", he replied. when someone asked him which came first , day or night, he answered, "night came first -by a day."

When someone asked him wheater man can escape the noticeof the gods if he does wrong, he replied : "not even if he thinks of doing wrong."

An adulterer asked him if he should swear that he had not commited adultery :he replied, "perjudy is no worse than adultery."

When asked what is difficult, he said , "to know yourself" ; what is easy, "to give advice to someone else" ; what is most pleasant , "success" ; what devine , "what has neither beginning nor end".

When asked what was the strangest thing he had seen, he said: "an old tyrant". How can we bear misfortune easily?- if we see our enemies faring worse.

How can we live the bast and most justly?- if we do nor ourselves do the things we blame others for doing. Who is happy? -one who has the healthy body, a well-stocked soul , and an educable nature.

He says that we should remember our friends both present and absent, and that we should not beutify our faces but be beutiful in our practices.

"Do not be rich by evil means". he says " and let not words estrage you from those who have shared your trust." "Expect from your children the same benefits that you gave to your parents.


____________________________________________________________________

Strange dream AGAIN, I meet the same philosopher... dreamt of alex death.. =.=' (lamex sia)

At this hour (12.34) I woke up from my sleep. I have just experienced a very strange dream again. Again I met the same philospher whom I had met in my earlier dreams.

I was at the classroom sitting on the floor, facing the philosopher who was few steps from me. There were no other student but me , alexander emmanuel and Yu Qiang (my new friend from polytechnic).

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Philospher=

Good day my fellow students. Today i'd like us to discuss abt pursuit of hapiness, and how to achieve it.

The great man ever told me that, "there are many streams on the hill, But they will all end up on the same river".

This wisdom means that, people may have different goals in life, but they are all towards towards the common thing.... Hapiness...

Dear students, What are your persuits of hapiness..? What do u want to achieve in life?



Alexander=

Teacher. I am now very content, I spend most of my days in hapiness. I think I have live to fullest. Teacher, I wanna be more happy Than I am today? can I?


philosopher=

(he smiled at alex for a moment before he went into the marble table and have a sip of tea from his silvery cup)

Alexander. please hold this cup of tea for me!

(and he gave the cup to alexander)
(and then he pour the tea onto the cup from a golden jug. He kept pouring until, the cup it is full, and finally the tea starts overloading from the cup)

Hold on teacher. The cup is full , you shall not fill it any more.

Philospher=

Exactly. how can fill a cup which is already full with more tea. How can you also ask for more hapiness if u said u have had ur life to the fullest?

picture as illustration only

You are what you are. Do not ask more than what u deserve .In the end you just cant cope with it. And the hapiness you have today may become the sadness for your tomorrow.

Alexander=

I understand teacher. I am sorry.


(it was in a total silence before I started speaking)


Demetrius (me) =
Teacher, Recently I always put my hope on recounciling with my arch enemy , Kenneth foo and wondering if Alexander will possibly change into he himself who used to save my life 10 month ago.

Philospher=
Demetrius, You are such a kind person. but perhaps, you are too kind, untill those are against you make use of ur kindness.

Philospher=
When you pelt a piece of stone towards a plane mirror, thus the mirror shatters apart. will it be possible for you to reassemble those remaining pieces of broken glass, joining them up to recreate the same mirror you used to see?



Demetrius=
Indeed that is nearly impossible sir.

Philospher=
Verily a long time ago You had shattered your own friendship with kenneth foo with you foolish words , making him becoming your enemy. Even if you manage to build back ur friendship with kenneth foo, he will not be what he used to be. Just like if you miracleously manage to reassemble those broken fragments of mirror into a mirror, you can still barely notice the cracks on its surface. It will never be exactly the very same mirror you used to see.

picture as illustration only

Philosopher=

Demetrius, Now look at towards you left.

(I saw a grave on it. On the tomb it was written. Alexander eng zhen an emmanuel. there were more graves around it which tombs were dipicting the name of those who used to diprive me in the past.)


Demetrius=

Teacher, What is this suppose to mean ? ( I asked him with fear) Is alexander dead?



Alexander=

If i am dead I will not be here, you moron!!

Philospher=

Silence!!. Alexander, please mind you words. and Demetrius listen to me carefully.

The very kind soul of alexander whom u knew 10 month ago has departed from alexander's physical form. What remains is the alexander whom u know today.

10 month ago. U made friend with Alexander Emmanuel. However u have taken that friendship for granted. And that is simply what makes alexander changed. Most probably as I can forsee, you will never see the same alexander u used to see last time.

The good soul of alexander had departed from alexander body together with those bad souls of whom who used to deprive you . That is why u notice the presence other graves just now.

Therefore you are now a new person. you are now free like a dove flying towards the horison . free of hatered and revenge. you should not look back towards you past. your past is not worth -thought.



Direct your sight towards your future, and be the person whom I have forseen as one of the greatest men in the future.

The chapter of "kenneth foo", "AntiBayuCommunity" , and "Alexander" hath officially end from diary of your life. you shall now create a new chapter in ur life. you must learn from mistakes that you have commited in past, thus you will never have to die in regrets.

Demetrius=
I understand. Thank you for your wisdoms teacher.

Alexander=
I cant faking understand what u both are grumbling abt.
But I hope both you stop melo-dramating. cuz I am starting to feel disgusted right now.

Philosopher=
alex, Behave youself.

philospher=
yu qiang, what exactly do wanna be in the future?

yu qiang=
I do not know , teacher. But I just want to be a rich man.

philospher=
yu qiang, Can you have a perfect shot by shooting an arrow without knowing where exactly is ur target?



Yu qiang=
absolutely no, sir.

philosopher=
so do you think You will be able be what you wanna be if you do not even know exactly what kind of person u want urself to be?

Yu qiang=
no...
mhh... I think I get your point teacher..
thank you..


____________________________________________________________________

suddenly, I am slowly awaken from my dream . Then I decided to blog up this amazing story of my dream. =)

Wisdoms for today

wisdoms for today:



Being a superior amongst the inferiors is better than being an inferior amongst superiors..

Alexander Demetrius

Do not bother abt what people think. What matter most is to stand on what you believe in and keep following it thru.

Edmund Leong

Your enemy's basic need is ur fear against them

Alexander Demetrius

when you plant good deeds today , you will only harvest the prices by tomorrow (in thr future)...
but when you plant bad deeds today , you will haverst the prices by today and by tomorrow....

Confucious

There are many stars in the heaven (sky) , but only some are the brightest amongst all..

Confucious

____________________________________________________________________

MY mood= really Great

The story about a pair of dove...

This early morning At the balcony of my house i saw 2 doves landing on my feet.

They were playing with one another as if they were good friends....

..picture as illustration only..

I took a handful grain of rice at the kitchen intending to feed them with that...

As I spread those grain of rice from one end to another they were both eating, following the path of which I scattered the rice...

I said to myself..

"If I were them, I must had been very happy. To live in such a simple life it must be a perfect hapiness. I really envy them for having such a loyal friendship like that. "

Soon after they were just departed within another....

I said...

"mhhh.... my friendship worth more than theirs indeed..."

an hour later, I was going to nearby 7 11 store to purchase some snacks for my break time.. On my way, I again saw those doves. I was glad They were together again.

But this time to my surprice one of them was lying dead on the pavement.... the other one seemed to be grieving upon its dead buddy.... the wounds on its forehead practically showed that some heartless individual from the opposite HDB site must have catapulted the dove using some pointy rubbles...

I gave a glace at them for a moment then I started giggling at myself....

"mhh... man.. I think this time I feel lucky to be myself.."

Wisdom for today

Today I spent my time quoting wisdoms from the books which I had just read earlier on...


"When you see someone who is capable and virtuous,
think about trying to be like him..."

"when you see someone who is neither capable or virtuous,
Look at yourself...
and see if u share any qualities with him..."

Confucious..

"We are all something, but none of us are everything."

Blaise Pascal

____________________________________________________________________
And finally I have come out with my own wisdom...


"Wisom is competable with wisdom,
words with words,
and a sword with a sword..."

Alexander Demetrius

I dreamt something regarding to kenneth foo last night.. (MUST READ)

yesterday night I dreamt again ... and I met the philosopher whom I had had met in my previous dream..



he told me=


kenneth foo is everywhere...

Kenneth foo in the real life

he is in the air...
in every path you took...
in every moment you step forward..
In the midst of the crowdh...
In the face of every new friends you make...

He is everywhere...

He is just your fear......
your phobia...
he can do anything he wants...

Makes bustamin becomes ur enemy...
Makes alexander turns against you...
Makes christopher hates you..

but behold my student...
there was a reason why I did name you Alexander Demetrius

you posseses 2 classes of blood that flow on ur veins..

blood of Alexander the Great,
and the blood of deity of demeter...

Alexander The Great

Deity of Demeter

you have that ability to be as strong as alexander the great...
but yet...
you still have the dignity to be as loving as mythical goddess of demeter...


Recently, On this battle front... Kenneth foo has no courage to come face to face to you... He uses his close friends as a puppet to fight with you...

You ,on the other hand must be as brave as alexander the great... in every battle, he always be the the first guy who step in to battle fields...thus, You must not use any of ur friends to fight in this battle... your friends are your supporter and advisor... They will ,of course ,be the one who will support you from behind the scene...


but first of all you must remember this..



Kenneth foo is everywhere...
he stays on ur bodily entity...
he exists in every molecules of air u breath in...



His curse.. flows in ur blood...
The only way to win him is only....
By conquering your own fear...
Fighting your ego...
Invading the body that has been colonised by the evil entity...
which you believed it to be kenneth foo'd curse...

Alexander Emmanuel?
Alexander does not even exist in this battle field...
he was just your imagination...
Imagination that was simply derived from ur own phobia...

My beloved student... Alexander Demetrius..
Shall god be will you...!!
Verily, He has a great plan for you.... Greater than you can ever imagine...
your future is on your hand now...

Always Remember ... If you cannot choose you destiny, It will choose you...

____________________________________________________________________
I nooded , showing that I could actually comprehend what he has been telling me...

Suddenly, the scene was changed.... I was transfered into another demention...

I was landed in a very big cave, full of stalagmite and stalactite... On my right there was a flaring stream of lava which is rushing backward parrallel to me...

At the very end of the cave I saw someone whom I really did not expect his presence there.....

Ya... He was kenneth Foo Shi hua... He wore a very bright silky toga, and brighter than mine...

The illustration of the scene

Suddenly he uttered some kind of word which I cant understand... perhaps it was a magical spell ,i guess...

soon The stream of lava rises , it swirled like a twister, I could still remember how it feels when the tremendous scorching heat that seems to have been radiated from it hit my skin....

I was great in panic... I didnt know what to do... I was scared that I would die at that time, incinerating into ashes...at any moment that lava strikes me...

In the middle of no where... The voice of that philosopher echoed in my ear...
"Remember , conquer your own fear....!!"

Ya ... I remebered.... I tired to stabilise my self... On my heart I kept saying...
"God, you are the almighty..."
"I fear no one but you"
"I fear no one but you"
"I fear no one but you"

I started to feel a liltle chilly... Both of my hand was shining and as cold as an ice..

As the stream of lava made its was towars me... I hailed my right hand toward it... A majestic bright light illuminates from it... once it hits the flaring lava, the lava cooled down, and then broke apart into dusts... and it was swept away by the blowing wind that shifts along the cave...

Kenneth foo's face showed the fear he had been facing with.. I moved towards him.. he kept moving backwards and finally slipped backwards falling into the rocky cave floor... I kept moving towards him... his face turned as pale as the undead as if he was fearing the death..

I was just few inches from him... I kneeled down and offered my right hand to him...

"Kenneth... would you forgive me for anything i have done bad to you? I just want us to befriends..."

What i was thinking was, I just did not want to continue this 'fightings' , I, for 3.5 years, i had been fed up with it... and i felt i have to end everything with peaceful friendship...

then, the fear of death seemed to have swept away from kenneth's face... he merely looked at me without saying any answer...


___________________________________________________________________

suddenly I saw my body was diminishing into thin air... I was teleported back to the philosopher's school... and I did not have any chance of hearing any ans from kenneth foo...

the philosopher appeared infront of me...

I yelled at him=

"hey mr philosipher... why u took me away before I could even hear his answer"

He answered calmly=

"only the real kenneth foo shi hua himself knows the answer..."

"it is your homework... to find out the answer by yourself"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

today..

today.. alexander apologised to me... I am glad... to hear that...

I finally blocked alex... HE IS ACTUALLY AN ABNORMAL GUY..

Tonight I am really sad.. Because I have just realised that alexander is psycotic abnormal guy... OMG, thank you very much for opening my eyes so that I can realise this fact... mhh...

This is last part my last conversation with alexander eng... "alex and the eng" is him, "||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<||||" is me....



(he unblock me)
alex and the eng said:
hhahahaahaa


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| said:
see... people angry u say.... HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| said:
what an alien is that


alex and the eng says:
you gotta admitt that was damn funny


alex and the eng says:
ahhahahahhaa


alex and the eng says:
haha


alex and the eng says:
funny what!


alex and the eng says:
hhahhahaha


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
Oh my god in the heaven...


|||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
what on earth is going on to u...


alex and the eng says:
haha nothing what


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
u are on medication or sumthing


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
ha...?


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
i really wonder


alex and the eng says:
B


alex and the eng says:
L


alex and the eng says:
O


(he blocked me)


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
ck


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
block la


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
hahaha


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
block again


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
stupid as holes...


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
ass holes


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
I swear upon the name of god.. U will never have a happy family in the future...


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
never....


(he unblocked me)

alex and the eng says:
hahahhahhahahhahhahahaa dam funny sia


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says: .......................................................................


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
funny issit


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
block me then unblock me


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
then block me again.... then unblock me


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
just to see me respon


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
oh.... I wanna see if bayu gonna be mad or not


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
oh hahaha..... he curses me...


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
thats damn funny


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
u are insane man


alex and the eng says: haahhhhaa


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
I being serious,.... why u make fun of me


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
never mind...


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
I know u are crazy


||||>>----------Alexander Demetrius----------<<|||| says:
just remember...u really offended me... from now on... I regard u as dead... we are no longer friends... and I swear in the name of god..... u are going to have terrible future...


(finally i blocked him)

this is alexander's photo.... Handsome...? well I admit, he is.... but he has a bad mental disorder... Beware... stay away from him...!!

this is how it looks like when is undergoing his psycological problem..

hahaha... finally!!!

I just realise now... alexander is undergoing serious mental disorder... he had offended me... from now on... I regard him as dead.. and for the first time in my life... I finally block some one in msn... which is him...

indian rojak ... made me sick

yesterday I ate indian rojak worth of s$8... and for the whole night I got severe diarrhoea ... I shit for several times thru out the whole night... =.='

This is indian rojak

a very strange dream... (must read!!)

"If you cannot choose your destiny, It will choose you.."

I always remember that wisdom in my mind...

Last night I dreamt a very strange dream.

The scenery exactly matches the scene of 100 AD roman school's classroom, where the student and the philosopher wears toga as their attire. The classroom's floor is covered by magnificent light sparkling marble floor and the ceiling is made from a fragant teak wood of lebanon. Despite all that, Conversations are made in english language, not in latin.

the students barely sit on the marble floor. no desks , no chair. each of them holding to a piece of papyrus , and an inked sharpen twig as their stationery. on their right there were inkwell made of clay and few rools of papyrus scrools.

there is no whiteboard for the philosopher to write. by standing up facing right towards the students the philospher simply utters and explains his teachingsw verbaly, using some notes he had prepared on a piece of papyrus earlier as his teaching guideline.

this is the illustration of the classroom marble floor..

cedar wood of lebanon



papyrus, inkwell and sharpen twig

I am sitting on the front row, just infront of philosopher. There are 9 students. these are the students as I can recalled. Amazingly those induvidual are actually exist in my real life.




Christopher SM = My best friend
Bustamin Kosmo = My best friend
Alexander emmanuel = My close friend (although he seems to regard me as enemy now).
edmund leong =my good friend who 2 years ago used to be my arch enemy
( he loved to bully me).
qian pink = my first crush, my first love. she is now my good friend.

kenneth foo= My arch enemy, matthew chen's close friend.
matthew chen = My enemy , alexander's good friend.
anthony lim = My enemy , alexander's good friend.


The philosopher teach us a very important lecture, but only some of the student pays attention and are bothered to record the philosopher's saying on their papyrus.

philosopher=

In ancient time, there are 10 diferent class of people. from the lesser prestige to the higher prestige repectively they are;

slave;
tribal groups , beggar;
labourer and servant and peasant;
common product craftmen / merchant;
civil servant and soldier;
Luxurious product craftmen / merchant;
teacher ,philosopher and priest;
nobles;
senator;
royal family;

they are determined by their fate , not solely by their wealth. when a new born child hath a good fate to be born in the womb of lady of nobles, that following child is fated to be nobles, so as his/her future generation.

In modern times people are classified in merely 4 different classes.

less educated = those whose monthly income + carrear prestige below average.

self satisfactor/self salvation= those people who has a different was of conteting themselves, usually regardless what people say abt them.

professionalist = those whose monthly income + carrear prestige above average but working for someone as his/ her carrear.

leadership / famous individual =those whose monthly income + carrear prestige way above average and usually is a leader and/or someone who is famous.

and the people fate are determined by their hardwork , and ambition and not solely by their fortune. Their success are measured on the amount of wealth and or the level of prestige and popularity they have, in comparison with the other classes.



Philosopher = now guys, what do u have in mind?

Me = I wanna be someone who is famous and rich. I wanna be a movie director. I will not change my ambition, no matter what. (famous individual class)

Christopher= My mom said, I am not good at business ownership -leadership class- , so I am thinking to be a professionalist. I wanna be a biotechnician . But i will see how, I may change my ambition if there is something happening on the way. (professionalist class)

bustamin kosmo= All material stuff are nothing. I wanna be a buddist monk in order to reach eternal hapiness. (self salvation class)

edmund= I want to continue my family business. I wanna be an enthepreneur. I always keep this wisdom in my mind. MONEY is hapiness. MONEY can buy most things. you can never be happy without money.(leadership class)

Qiank pink = I want to marry to a good man, and live in a simple humble life. that is my pursuit of hapiness. (self satisfactor class)

Matthew = I wanna be a photographer. (professionalist class)

anthony lim= I just wanna be happy. (self satisfactor class)

kenneth foo = I want to be someone repected by many people. (famous individual class)

alexander = I just dont care abt all this. for today I want to spend my time happily with my families and friend. I want achieve happiness to the fullest. and for tomorrow, let destiny choose my fate. (self-satisfactor class)

philospher = dear students... bare this in your mind... Reality always starts with dreams. keep those dreams in your mind, and I wish, it will really come thru...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the last time I can remember. I saw that celtish blonde-haired philospher smiled at us. and then suddenly light appears from all side . I am then awaken from my sleep.

when I wake up , with a liltle smiling face, I mumble to myself.

"ah... nothing much .I was just a DREAM"

suddenly ,a voice comes from no where is audibly heard by my ears.

"young man... remember.... reality always starts with your DREAM...."

"thx for the advice Mr philosopher..." , I whisper to myself...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

chris acts like alex.. alex unblock me...

few days ago I asked my good friend ,christopher, regarding which one he thought is better... learning technical skill or business skill of both the same fields...?

chris = teachnical skill

me= why? (i expected an intelligent ans..)

chris= because I dont like business stuff, and my mom say I am not good at business..


me= plz give me a more intelligent answer that can be accepted by me...

chris = for what?

me = I am a lil confused weather I should tranfer from media and communication tech course to media and communication management course... I want to know which course that will thought me a skill more demanded in the future...

chris = I dont know... don ask me... thats ur future... your life.... your decision....

me= why the hell u suddenly act jus like alex...!!

chris = no offence... but it's true.... u must make ur own decision...


I was really pissed off and left him alone for a moment... I kept asking why nowadays christopher seemed to start acting like alex.. or perhaps that's just because of my over sensitiveness...duh.... I really didnt know...

recently I have so many friend.... I cant have a day of loniness.. I am very glad abt that... but somehow when I hang out with them... I feel there is amiss... mhh... Perhaps that missing 'thing' is alexander... I just feel bad knowing he is no longer be around... no longer he regards me as his friend, unlike last time... I just cant resist to halt a grieve... it seems to have stucked on my throat...

few moments ago... I saw alexander msn account was online.... It seemed he was just unblock my msn... I was excited for a moment.. it seemed god hath ans my prayer...

I asked myself what to do next...


me= I am really confused what to do... should i apologise...

myself = what are u going to fucking apologise for?

me= I dont know...

myself= exactly, now just shut up... since there is nothing impt to say... and i tell u what... he just fucking doesnt care abt u... every word u say... is a liability to him... bare in mind... he has changed.... he is no longer the alexander u knew last year... and the way he talked barely represents his character.. he just couldnt resist saying vulgarities to u.... not at all... he just doesnt respect u at all...

me= hey... why are u provoking me here ha....!! this is my life... my prob... my solution... so fuck off...

myself= hw can u say that... I am you... u are me... use ur brain....!!

me=just ... just.... shut up... and leave me alone!!

____________________________________________________________________

for a moment i thought I was undergoing a real mental disorder due to hyperexcitement and hyperconfusion... but later on I realised... that was just an over-depressed respons due to the lack of self esteem...

Oh my god

How in the hell can I forget about alexander eng zhen an emmanuel....

in any minute I always some how feel bad to him... I want to recouncil... but my logic and ego said....


"NO!!!"
"for alexander hath screwed your life...
he may be the one who hath saveth you from commiting suicide..
but he was also the one who...
who...
who..."



"who what?", I asked...


"I dont know... but just fucking listen to me... alexander is evil!!... get away from him... since he regards u as rubbish...just like how you previous best friends treated you..."


"shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "this is my life , my problem, my decision!!!"






Oh my god... that phrase as i can recall, was told by alex.... arghh.... what sin did i commit to alex... so much so that I cant even feel apeace recently... and in every of my prayer before my sleep.... I always say.....

"oh god.. hopefully alex will again unblock my msn.. or at least just text me.. so I will have a reason to talk to him"
"and if i am given another chance to recouncel... In thee name... I will not be so arrogant like last time.."

but I think.... god will not hear my prayer this time... He will continue letting me be like this for near future... as a punishment... punishment for I had been so ignorant about his grace....

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mhh

tidaklah ada yang namanya kesengsaraan yang abadi...