T.T

tiada lagi duka yang melekat...
mungkin ianya sudah terlalu pekat..
mengikat ketat..
kebebasan naluri hati...

bukannya aku meminta dalam hampa
agar cinta musnah begitu saja...
tapi mungkin aku sudah tak kuasa lagi
menahan, menerjang...
mahadaya cinta...
yang begitu hebat dahsyatnya....

Aku sudah terlalu letih... dengan semua ini...
Kenapa mesti aku...
kenapa mesti kamu...
aku terlalu lemah ,tuk hadapi cabaran ini...
sedang kamu....
dirimu , terlalu tinggi untuk dapat kugapai..

Biarlah ku peluk bayangmu saja...

Best friend only k!!!

cinta tak mesti memiliki
ia adalah kasih nan tulus
yang bersembunyi di serambi hati...

+.+ on the line...Elfi said, "eh, you both (saidil and me) become my best friend only lah. " ....

In my heart I said, "duh, then what sia... memang dah jadi best friend per..."

...............................................................................................................................................

we soon ended our convo in the phone... then, I immidiately sms her...

"memanglah jadi bestfriend, abih ape pulak... hahaha... relax ar... fi, just do whatever thing is best for u... dont need to care what the victim feels... after all it's life man, you lose something, you gain something... chill =)"

....................................................................................................................................................

Sekuntum bunga mawar yang kupersembahkan

Sekuntum mawar merah yang kupersembahkan padamu
bukanlah melambangkan cinta kasihku padamu
namun mawar itu
adalah diriku
yang menjelma
kerana cinta

Sekuntum mawar merah yang ku persembahkan padamu
mungkin suatu nanti akan layu
kemerahannya , kan berubah , dimamah waktu
namun cintaku
tak'kan pernah layu
walau mesti diterjang ribut, badai, dan bayu

Aku pernah berkata
bahawa aku enggan lagi terpikat dalam asmara
Aku takut dengan derita
pabila cinta tiada lagi berpucuk didada

namun kini...
Tiada lagi ku sanggup menutupi itu semua
Aku ini manusia
Yang memiliki nurani dan naluri

Biarlah aku kecewa
biarlah aku menderita
biarlah aku menagis , tujuh purnama
kalau memang itulah harga yang mesti dibayar
untuk dapat mencintaimu...

Aku sudah cukup bahagia
pabila ku dapat terus menatapmu
walau hanya bayangmu saja

kerana,
Bayang-bayang itu
merupakan sebuah alasan
Untuk aku terus berdiri
di alam nyata...

I LOVE HER.............

Every night I will always think about her...

GOD...

_________________________

recently I love this girl, let's name her "Maya" (I wont disclose her real name, unless u ask me personally).

Dear diary , I really do not know what to do..

I asked Yeoh hon the other day, regarding wheater or not I should declare my love to her..

he said, "come on... just whack la..."

fuck you!!... you think what , girls are not sales item on the supermarket......

I must really Found out weather she likes me or not...

BUT HOWWWWWWWWWW.... the hack would I know , If I dont tell her....!!!!!!!!!!

Agggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........


U know what dear, diary... the last time I proposed a girl... it was rejected and I had long post traumatic stress disorder for 5 days and 5 night... well of course .. it was such unpleasant thing I had...

I just do not want that to happen... arghhhhhhhhh come on................

This love shit is bloody killing meeeeeeeeeee.....................

you know what...

I think I have to write some poem to release my pressure...


Aku tak tahu... dimana...
Aku tak mengerti kenapa...
kenapa mesti aku...
yang menjadi budak cinta..

apakah air mata yang meleleh dari kolam airmataku ini belum cukup
untuk membuktikan kasih cintaku padamu...

aku tak mengerti..
aku belum dapat mengerti
aku masih terlalu bodoh untuk mengenal cinta..
maka berikanlah aku secerlah peluang
untuk dapat mengetahui
apakah cintamu jua tertuju bagiku....

aku ini terlalu malu
untuk menyatakan cintaku padamu
kerana aku sangka...
dirimu ialah bidadari surga...
sedangkan aku...
hanyalah binatang jalang yang bersembunyi dibalik rumput ilalang...

adakah benar ianya...
bahawa aku bagaikan pungguk yang merindu purnama...
ataukah hanya aku saja yang bersandiwara
sebagai lelaki yang kehilangan nama...








STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL..... I am still stressed.... what to do sia... argh... fine... I will call yeoh hon.... and tell him that I am under love stress as usual





.. and he will giggle at me as always.... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....


NOOOOOOOOOOOO................

Yipeeeee

Hanging out with yeoh hon...

Days passed by ,by time. more friends I got , more enemies I lost. Thanks God, I am very grateful for the blessings u have given me.

Today I hung up with yeoh hon. He was actually a nice guy with many life experiences. we talked the whole day non-stop, even when we were in the toilets. haha. dont get it wrong, alright!!

umhh..
I was quite touched when all of sudden he said he envies other people who has mother.
I asked "why".
"because I have lost her ever since I was five, she divorced with my dad"


I was quite speechless upon hearing his words.
"dont think that way"
"what has happened, you must let it go"
"Some people are too preoccupied with what they don't have, so much so that they actually ignore what they already have"

That's what I said.

then he replied, " mhh, I knew that, Thats why I really treasure my dad alot."


I could read from his face that he actually felt bad , talking abt his mother, so I decided to change topic of "discussion".

judging from his words and his behavior, I could see that he would have a great future. he only needs someone to support him from behind the scene.

He said that he wants to life in ordinary life and live with full of hapiness.
He even giggled at me when I said I want to be a Hollywood movie director or actor in the future.

well I know ,I might be a little to ambitious for an insignificant guy like me to have such a mammoth dream. However It will not at all demoralize my spirit on a quest of realizing that dream.

There is only one thing that I can conclude, Yeoh hon is such a nice guy.

last friday , which is 2 days ago. I set up a push cart business in business sch , together with my close friends, sharifa, and dian. I made new friend there, her name is wani (in the photo), she is Sharifa's and dian's secondary school friends.

the stall had been opening from 9pm-5pm. for the sake of the business I skipped math tutorial class ,scheduled at 9-10.

I promised I wont do that again. I must put these things behind my studies.

for that one day i made a gross profit of $39 .net profit of $15. sharifa and dian have their own profits.

I know the profit I made was not equivalent to all the sarcrifices I have done. however I learned a lot of thing about business on that day. sharifa and dian had taught me a lot of it. and I believed, those experiences that I had acquired, were the most valuable assets for goodness of my future.


Thank you girls. =)

mood= elevated.

gila gila gejebong

Gila... capek gw... udah lama banget gak ngeblog... hahaha.... mo tau kenapa?? hayoo....

gw sibook abis.... gak ada waktu untuk diabiskan buat perkara2x yang kurang menguntungkan dan berfeadah... ceuk ileh, kayak orank tua aja deh ngomonknya....

ngomong2x ya.... hari hariku dipenuhi dengan badan2x pegel semua.... kenapa coba?? alah... masih nanya lagi..... ya kecapeanlah.....

kadang2x yach ada brapa2x hari gituh gw free banget... jadi gw jadi sibuk nanyain temen gw for outings.... gila... desperate banget yach... hahahahahah.....

hari ini gw pergi kluar sama si sharifa.... seharusnya seh gw dateng drama... tapi males.... jadi terpaksa bo'onk deh sama fifi kalau gw kena PMA.... penyakit mendadak akut.... wahahah... mungkin batal yach puasa gw karna ituh.... tapi gak papalah, wong di drama juga gw gak ngapa2x.,.... ngangkat ngankat barang gituh... trus bengong..... sharifa juga males dateng drama.... hahaha jadi akhirnye kita gank up gituh.... bareng bareng bolos drama cca...

jalan2x keliling singapura kayak gak ada kerjaan... duh....

besok gw ada drama... sebenernya sich males dateng... tapi klo gak dateng bisa disembeleh gw sama fifi... hahaha... karna tomorrow is the D-day ....MOGUS LUNA.... wahahaha......

ya udah... cape nich tangan gw ngetik.... skarang mau mikirin, masakan apa yang yang pantes dimasak buat sahur besok... hahahahahahha

=.=''''

It has been a long long day since the last time ever blogged...

Some of my friends ask me to start blogging again... and thats the reason I am blogging now.. hahar...

Yeah dear diary.... haha.... I dont know where to start.... 

Mhh....

Ok...ok......

oohh.....

wait....

Umhhh..... I dont now where to start cuz there is too much to say...

So yeah... basically.....  My life is good..... and I am delighted....

hahar...

=D

bye....

lol

xiang xiang - mouse loves rice MMV 老鼠爱大米
took me forever... -.-
o and the english parts are a bit blurry sowwie
here is the english translation (not blurry) XD

mouse love rice : 

When one day I hear your voice
I have some special feeling
Let me always think, I don't wanna forget you.
I remember every day,
You are always on my mind.
Even though I just can't think about you...

If one day in the future,
this love will become true.
I will never change my mind and will love you forever.
I don't care how fool it is,
I will let my dream come true.
I will tell you something I wanna let you know, I let you know...

CHORUS:

I love you, loving you, as the mouse loves the rice.
Even if every day has a storm, I will always by your side.
I miss you, missing you
I don't care how hard it is,
I just want you to be happy;
Everything, I do it for you

(song repeats)

Chinese Lyrics

曲︰楊臣剛 / 詞︰楊臣剛
編︰王啟文

＊我聽見你的聲音　有種特別的感覺
　讓我不斷想　不敢再忘記你
　我記得有一個人　永遠留在我心中
　哪怕只能夠這樣的想你

＃如果真的有一天　愛情理想會實現
　我會加倍努力好好對你永遠不改變
　不管路有多麼遠　一定會讓它實現
　我會輕輕在你耳邊對你說　對你說

＋我愛你愛著你　就像老鼠愛大米
　不管有多少風雨　我都會依然陪著你
　我想你想著你　不管有多麼的苦
　只要能讓你開心　我什麼都願意
　這樣愛你

LAO SHU AI DA MI




wo ting jian ni de sheng yin 
you zhong te bie de gan jie 
rang wo bu duan xiang bu gan zai wang ji ni 
wo ji de you yi ge ren 
yong yuan liu zai wo xin zhong 
na pa zhi neng gou zhe yang de xiang ni 
ru guo zhen de you yi tian 
ai qing li xiang hui shi xian 
wo hui jia bei nu li hao hao dui ni yong yuan bu gai bian 
bu guan lu you duo mo yuan 
yi ding hui rang ta shi xian 
wo hui qing qing zai ni er bian dui ni shuo (dui ni shuo) 
wo ai ni ai zhe ni 
jiu xiang lao shu ai da mi 
bu guan you duo shao feng yu wo dou hui yi ran pei zhe ni 
wo xiang ni xiang zhe ni 
bu guan you dou me de ku 
zhi yao neng rang ni kai xin wo shen me dou yuan yi 
zhe yang ai ni 
wo ting jian ni de sheng yin 
you zhong te bie de gan jie 
rang wo bu duan xiang bu gan zai wang ji ni 
wo ji de you yi ge ren 
yong yuan zai wo xin zhong 
na pa zhi neng gou zhe yang de xiang ni 
your guo zhen de you yi tian 
ai qing li xiang hui shi xian 
wo hui jia pei nu li hao hao dui ni yong yuan bu gai bian 
bu guan lu you duo na me yuan 
yi ding hui rang ta shi xian 
wo hui qing qing zai ni er bian dui ni shuo (dui ni shuo) 
wo ai ni ai zhe ni 
jiu xiang lao shu ai da mi 
bu guan you duo shao feng yu wo dou hui yi ran pei zhe ni 
wo xiang ni xiang zhe ni 
bu guan you duo me de ku 
zhi yao neng rang ni kai xin wo shen me dou yuan yi 
zhe yang ai ni 
wo ai ni ai zhi ni 
jiu xiang lao shu ai da ni 
bu guan you duo shao feng yu wo dou hui yi ran pei zhe ni 
wo xiang ni xiang zhe ni 
bu guan you duo me de ku 
zhi yao neng rang ni kai xin wo shen me dou yuan yi 
zhe yang ai ni

Get jacked by Edmund...

Edmund Leong is my best friend who loves to "suan" people...

yesterday, via msn I challenged him in a suaning duel... and he willingly agreed...

starting with me ,saying that he is yellow like shit...

all the way to him , saying that I am black like dick...

and I responded by saying that my dick wasn't black like his, because I am very clean....

its goes on and on... and until he was officially defeated...

and he told me that He was going to blocked me... suddenly, he was off...


I was panic, cuz I thought he had taken all my words seriously and took it as an offense.. I thought this was going to be the end of my friendship with him...

I messaged him several time thru sms, from Indonesia (cuz now I am still in indo) ... but still no ans from him was received.. I felt really bad, so much so until I decided to email him...

edmund...

I very sorry man... I couldnt control my stupid mouth... plz I beg u... dont block me... I swear... I will shut up forever and wont disturb u again... =/ honestly... u are the best buddies I ever had.. =0.... forgive me dei....

bayu...



not long after that I received his simple sms...

"kk... I was just offline for a while"


OMG... how stupid am I... duh... I shouldnt be so panic like that for a friend like him... =/

when he went back to online... He didnt stop jerking me for I apologize to him like a mad man.. one part of the convo was...



Hey,... bayu , I love this part...

"plz I beg u... "

hahahhahahaha........



Dear diary, seriusly, I didnt know where to put my face at that time.. uh... I was so ashamed to myself.. On top of that... prior to this, In the end I must admit ... that Edmund was the one who actually won that "suaning duel"...

Yipee... weeeeee.............

Mood of the past 2 weeks = Elevated

list out 10 best things that had happened to you for the past a month...

-Made friends with Q0806

-made friends with pe'ah's gang

-made friends with fadilah's gang (dramatect friends)

-Created a strong bond within titisan ( malay drama cca) members and silat members...

-Get a job at ayam penyet indonesian restaurant as an usher and waiter... =)

-Studying for term test with Din and pe'ah's gang, and Q0806 in different time... That was the first time in my entire life that I studied damn hard.

-Benjamin Lim kok liang who had been hating me for a year or more... decided to talk to me... yay..!!

-I accidentally met my msn friend ,chew jing jie face to face at the pasir ris mrt ...

-went For a 12 hour BBQ with Q0806

-went out with my best friend christopher santa maria after so long..

list out 10 not-so-good things that had happened to you in the past a month...

-Got bullied by my classmates..

-Got jacked By my best friend Edmund.. ( I will tell this story later on)

-Got a sudden kiss by a girl who likes me... but I don't like her... well thats so embarrassing...

-I snapped my mouse wire..

-My original headphone's ear piece..costing $50 is broken...

-being bitten by mosquitoes during my stay in indo for holiday... (untill now I am still in indo)

-increased my weight by 3 kg by staying in indo for less than 4 days....

-I am cashless... I went out too much with my friends each from different group... so yeah... I am totally broke..

-I was furious... when I found my younger bro smoking... well he said it was his first try... and only for one puff... sure yeah... at some point I sense lies in the air...

- Qian pink told me she was in depressed... oh.. god... I feel really bad for that also....

Dear diary, how are you... It has been a very long time since I blogged.

One great philosopher said, picture tells a story more than a telling it... so yeah... this time I will not do so much talking, but instead, I will upload alot of picture and video's for u to decipher regarding my joyful life for the past 2 weeks...

This is My younger bro's band mini concert at river walk bar..
the band named, seraphine secret..

My bro is the guitarist in red at the center..


The concert was, thrilling.
With coincidence I met cash ( my dramatech senior) who were with his gf and friends during the concert. He told me that he would also be on the stage. I was surprised for a moment. with all my curiosity I stayed back to watch his show.

That indian guy is cash...

Cash's show amazed every single audiences on that bar , including me. I supposed besides acting , he is also gifted in music.

_____________________________________________________________________

Last week , I had an nonresidential camp with my fellow titisan members and other cca which was under MALAY ARTS GROUP community.

Titisan was requested earlier to put on a drama show during the camp. To my surprise I was selected by the titisan senior to be one of the main actor in that prestigious performance.,,

DIkir barat performance...

they called it "concentration"

90% The video of the main performance during the camp has been accidentally deleted. So I can only upload videos of that performance during its rehearsal and training.

The one above here... was the remaining of the the actual day performace's video dipicting the last scene of the show ...


After the camp I followed my seniors to attend a Malay drama and dance performance at ngee ann polytechnic. The ticket worth 6%.

That one hour lasting show was started at 08 pm. But we were only into the theater by 08.15 . We were trapped within ngee ann polytechnic facilities which resembles a gigantic maze. Trust me, at night time, the campus was far more spooky than an abandoned grave .

____________________________________________________________________

The day after. AFter working at ayam penyet restaurant in the afternoon, I had a class bbq at pasir ris park pit 34.
I was asked to purchase a bottle of whip cream, a Styrofoams box and a party fire cracker...

I attend the bbq for few hours and then made my way home, because I didnt feel really well that day.

During the bbq... WHen my picture was captured, They all ran away.... surely my classmates were cam-freak

___________________________________________________________________

The next day I had another bbq party with Q0806 at the same place, but different pit. This time was bbq pit 40. The party lasted for almost 12 hours. I was the first to arrive and the last to return home hahaha..

NIce senery at pasir ris natural reserve...

MH.... I prefer to use kerosene instead of fire starter... =)

Trying to figure out the way of starting a fire during the windy weather..

Ymm,.... sweet potato...

Hello jasmine... =)

=.='

=D

+.+

=)

This is what happens when u fan the charcoal using a disposable plate..

After the BBQ... we slack at MC coffee...

____________________________________________________________________

Yeah... Finally I came back to my hometown... Indonesia... =)

When I reached home... I was glad to see that my new swimming pool that I designed 6 month ago is ready to be used... hahah... Without any further delay, I went straight to swim...

swimming with my 8 th years old turtle...

=) my 3rd bro... he taught me this crap..

and I cant resist to try it out by my own...

Its getting too much I guess...

Insane brothers....

=)

What a bad brother I am

Not to mention my younger brother...