Monday, June 14, 2010

looking for the light...

I stay awake for practically 6 hours now... My mind keep wondering around... My heart beat speeds yet my soul is somewhere else..

I couldn't figure out what I really want now.. most of my time these days i spend with sitting down alone at home... if not wait for myself to rot out of boredom... I wouldn't bother to ask my friends for outings anymore.. too tired of receiving rejects from them...

I am trying to understand yun zhong more than I think I have understood... He is a good man, I believe... far better than what could you see in the surface... Haiz... Honestly... maybe some people are living together with the hope they created...

Eveline told me, " let him be... getting lost in his own world... and not knowing wht to do.. one day... he surely find the light he has been searching for... "

I have no idea why am I doing all this to him.. out of pity? out of humanity? maybe I believe I just want to the a true friend for him... that is more than enough...

No one shows me respect... I rot at home... they simply don't bother... I couldn't plead for more.. maybe respect is not wht we get.... it is what we earn... perhaps I simply don't deserve any .. just yet..

and yeah... I stop talking to eve for 2 days now.. it is a long story...

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