T.T

tiada lagi duka yang melekat...
mungkin ianya sudah terlalu pekat..
mengikat ketat..
kebebasan naluri hati...

bukannya aku meminta dalam hampa
agar cinta musnah begitu saja...
tapi mungkin aku sudah tak kuasa lagi
menahan, menerjang...
mahadaya cinta...
yang begitu hebat dahsyatnya....

Aku sudah terlalu letih... dengan semua ini...
Kenapa mesti aku...
kenapa mesti kamu...
aku terlalu lemah ,tuk hadapi cabaran ini...
sedang kamu....
dirimu , terlalu tinggi untuk dapat kugapai..

Biarlah ku peluk bayangmu saja...

Best friend only k!!!

cinta tak mesti memiliki
ia adalah kasih nan tulus
yang bersembunyi di serambi hati...

+.+ on the line...Elfi said, "eh, you both (saidil and me) become my best friend only lah. " ....

In my heart I said, "duh, then what sia... memang dah jadi best friend per..."

...............................................................................................................................................

we soon ended our convo in the phone... then, I immidiately sms her...

"memanglah jadi bestfriend, abih ape pulak... hahaha... relax ar... fi, just do whatever thing is best for u... dont need to care what the victim feels... after all it's life man, you lose something, you gain something... chill =)"

....................................................................................................................................................

Sekuntum bunga mawar yang kupersembahkan

Sekuntum mawar merah yang kupersembahkan padamu
bukanlah melambangkan cinta kasihku padamu
namun mawar itu
adalah diriku
yang menjelma
kerana cinta

Sekuntum mawar merah yang ku persembahkan padamu
mungkin suatu nanti akan layu
kemerahannya , kan berubah , dimamah waktu
namun cintaku
tak'kan pernah layu
walau mesti diterjang ribut, badai, dan bayu

Aku pernah berkata
bahawa aku enggan lagi terpikat dalam asmara
Aku takut dengan derita
pabila cinta tiada lagi berpucuk didada

namun kini...
Tiada lagi ku sanggup menutupi itu semua
Aku ini manusia
Yang memiliki nurani dan naluri

Biarlah aku kecewa
biarlah aku menderita
biarlah aku menagis , tujuh purnama
kalau memang itulah harga yang mesti dibayar
untuk dapat mencintaimu...

Aku sudah cukup bahagia
pabila ku dapat terus menatapmu
walau hanya bayangmu saja

kerana,
Bayang-bayang itu
merupakan sebuah alasan
Untuk aku terus berdiri
di alam nyata...

I LOVE HER.............

Every night I will always think about her...

GOD...

_________________________

recently I love this girl, let's name her "Maya" (I wont disclose her real name, unless u ask me personally).

Dear diary , I really do not know what to do..

I asked Yeoh hon the other day, regarding wheater or not I should declare my love to her..

he said, "come on... just whack la..."

fuck you!!... you think what , girls are not sales item on the supermarket......

I must really Found out weather she likes me or not...

BUT HOWWWWWWWWWW.... the hack would I know , If I dont tell her....!!!!!!!!!!

Agggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........


U know what dear, diary... the last time I proposed a girl... it was rejected and I had long post traumatic stress disorder for 5 days and 5 night... well of course .. it was such unpleasant thing I had...

I just do not want that to happen... arghhhhhhhhh come on................

This love shit is bloody killing meeeeeeeeeee.....................

you know what...

I think I have to write some poem to release my pressure...


Aku tak tahu... dimana...
Aku tak mengerti kenapa...
kenapa mesti aku...
yang menjadi budak cinta..

apakah air mata yang meleleh dari kolam airmataku ini belum cukup
untuk membuktikan kasih cintaku padamu...

aku tak mengerti..
aku belum dapat mengerti
aku masih terlalu bodoh untuk mengenal cinta..
maka berikanlah aku secerlah peluang
untuk dapat mengetahui
apakah cintamu jua tertuju bagiku....

aku ini terlalu malu
untuk menyatakan cintaku padamu
kerana aku sangka...
dirimu ialah bidadari surga...
sedangkan aku...
hanyalah binatang jalang yang bersembunyi dibalik rumput ilalang...

adakah benar ianya...
bahawa aku bagaikan pungguk yang merindu purnama...
ataukah hanya aku saja yang bersandiwara
sebagai lelaki yang kehilangan nama...








STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL..... I am still stressed.... what to do sia... argh... fine... I will call yeoh hon.... and tell him that I am under love stress as usual





.. and he will giggle at me as always.... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....


NOOOOOOOOOOOO................

Yipeeeee

Hanging out with yeoh hon...

Days passed by ,by time. more friends I got , more enemies I lost. Thanks God, I am very grateful for the blessings u have given me.

Today I hung up with yeoh hon. He was actually a nice guy with many life experiences. we talked the whole day non-stop, even when we were in the toilets. haha. dont get it wrong, alright!!

umhh..
I was quite touched when all of sudden he said he envies other people who has mother.
I asked "why".
"because I have lost her ever since I was five, she divorced with my dad"


I was quite speechless upon hearing his words.
"dont think that way"
"what has happened, you must let it go"
"Some people are too preoccupied with what they don't have, so much so that they actually ignore what they already have"

That's what I said.

then he replied, " mhh, I knew that, Thats why I really treasure my dad alot."


I could read from his face that he actually felt bad , talking abt his mother, so I decided to change topic of "discussion".

judging from his words and his behavior, I could see that he would have a great future. he only needs someone to support him from behind the scene.

He said that he wants to life in ordinary life and live with full of hapiness.
He even giggled at me when I said I want to be a Hollywood movie director or actor in the future.

well I know ,I might be a little to ambitious for an insignificant guy like me to have such a mammoth dream. However It will not at all demoralize my spirit on a quest of realizing that dream.

There is only one thing that I can conclude, Yeoh hon is such a nice guy.

last friday , which is 2 days ago. I set up a push cart business in business sch , together with my close friends, sharifa, and dian. I made new friend there, her name is wani (in the photo), she is Sharifa's and dian's secondary school friends.

the stall had been opening from 9pm-5pm. for the sake of the business I skipped math tutorial class ,scheduled at 9-10.

I promised I wont do that again. I must put these things behind my studies.

for that one day i made a gross profit of $39 .net profit of $15. sharifa and dian have their own profits.

I know the profit I made was not equivalent to all the sarcrifices I have done. however I learned a lot of thing about business on that day. sharifa and dian had taught me a lot of it. and I believed, those experiences that I had acquired, were the most valuable assets for goodness of my future.


Thank you girls. =)

mood= elevated.