In the library

HEY... I am now in the library... 30 more minutes will be my netinfra labtest.. mhh =) dont know.. I feel strongly if i can pass today without no problems my days ahead will be much better... you know what is my weaknesses ..? let me share to you...

My weaknesses is being alone.. I am scared of being alone, thinking that I dont have friends around though infact I have plenty of them.. those friend are most of the time busy with their own schedule... well thats not their own fault.. cuz they are not even my classmate or course mate... for my course and class... sadly... I dont have any T.T... pretty sad ha.. but that is the fact I must accept...

people that knows me... just barely know me will think that I have lots of friend , I always too busy with them and I hardly get emotic... hahaha... trust me.. I actually spend 90% of my free time in school sitting down on the empty corner of the campus doing nothing.. sometimes I even cry ... maybe some wonders why wouldnt I go and msg some of my friend and find out if they are free?

hahaha.. last time I did that method.. till i got too sick of msging my friend.. most of them are either hanging around with their classmate during recess or have projects to do.. the only time they have for me is... if there is any... during weekends or after school... which of course I wouldnt need them to be around anymore...

well seriously... Not their fault at all.. I shouldnt be so cold to my classmate and course mate in the first place... really.. I shouldnt.. cuz that would lead me to a total chain reaction of me being emo...

being emo alone will not kill me... ha? why? ... dear diary... I am emoing most of the time... even when I am happy.. hahaha.. this is just... me.. Alexander demetrius... a dude who were born almost 20 years and who has not done anything significant yet even till he turn 20...

I seldom potray emo-shit character to my friend... I want them to believe and to always believe that I am a strong guy who can handle my own prob...

when I look onto my face in the mirror this morning.. I got a shock... I saw a lesbian face on the mirror... argh... yeah... that lesbian face is my face... >.< my newly cut hair makes me look like a lesbian retard...

Yunzhong told me yesterday that he actually cut his hair... hahaha... cant wait to see how he looks now... maybe... just maybe... he will looks like even more "prettier " than me... hahahahahahha...