The Fading friendship...

I am mysterious guy. If u ever claim that u understand me.? think again...

this afternoon again I am evolved in total loneliness. during break I am very very free.. Too free that I am lonely.. I texted every single of my friends to meet for lunch... every single of them would either having lesson , some not even replied, and some who are free are eating with their other friends...

I really hate when my friends say...

" Sorry cant go out with you, I am going out with my 'friends' "

the word "friends" there... really offend me so much.. as if I am not one of their friends.. I would rather they name those "friends" by their name... even if I do not know who they are...

It is ironical. I am so not close to my classmate.. so no matter how much I do have friend... I will definitely left alone during break.. I supposed to study for my net-infra test.. which would commenced at 1 pm straight away after the break... but instead... I spent my time emo-ing in the library..

at 12.07pm I texted ada and yeow hon for lunch meet-up... ada took 15 minutes to answered and yeow hon didnt even replied.. I waited in the design canteen for another 20 minutes.. I call ada but she hung up... finally I saw them entering design canteen... but at that moment I was so pissed off that I just left away... they didnt notice me leaving away.. yeow hon was very furious at me.. but he didnt know my situation at that time.. I was panic so I reason to them that I actually went to toilet... and straight away went for my test due to time constrain


I was very hungry...later on at 2.13, i went to buy food at short circuit with indra and shi ting..

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KYZ

I feel a very strong feeling that my friendship with KYZ is going to fade away very soon.

In a real ideal friendship, people do need 4 things to survive . these 4 things are,

Common interest
Common understanding
Common activity
and last but not least.. Common friend...

We have many common interests and good common understandings ... but we do not have a string common friend and common activity...

common friend... when I first made friend with him... I actually made friend with Jovina as well so that we can have common friends.. that will therefore strengthen our friendship. However, unfortunately jovina has left away, leaving me and KYZ together only...

where on earth there are guys who hang out together one to one only just both of them...
It is like weird.. no one would feel comfortable doing that in a long term basis..

besides I have tried my best to intro my friend to him... like yeow hon and ada.. but he is just too shy.. I cant fully enter his social cycle either.. since the friends he is close with are barely know me..

Common activity.. hahaha... so far i have been pulling KYZ to do cent stuff or just to do his stuff in cent room... and that is our common activity.. but I do feel he is not feeling comfortable with cent.. he feels so lost more than he always does .. he wouldnt come to cent room if he do not have valid purpose.. it is just so foreign to him.. this will definitely not going to work for long... It always needs two hand to clap..

I have been pondering about this today. and even yeow hon was mistakenly thought that I was emo... cuz of girl.. but actually... it is because of friendship... I do treasure friendship more than love... well considering the fact that I have never had gf before...and my parents and family are in indonesia... so the only source of my happiness is through friendship.. a true friendship..

I am quite sad.. every time I made new friend... I will always lose them in a nice or even hard way, if these four "common things" are not met.. but for now... I have suspected the worst for KYZ... at least when I really have to lose him.. I wouldnt feel so emotionally distress..

I am so worried for this that I actually i just realized.. i have been texting him day and night... non stop.. trying to keep in touch with him.. he wouldn't complain of course.. even when i asked him.. since he is a very nice guy... But my dear blog... I was not born yesterday... I can sense what he actually feels...

Love cant be forced... so does friendship... it always require two hand to clap..

God.. please help me on this.. he is a nice and wise friend of mine.. I would feel very sad to lose him... mhh..

after eating kfc with yeow hon , ada , and shafiq...I saw KYZ in the busstop with his friends.. I didnt say anything... I just wave blindly at him.. cuz his friends are greeting me.. my emotion was very high at that moment... even If i were to accidentally bump into barrack obama in the bus.. I would just fart on him unconsciously ... haiz... I am stress.. when I am stress I hate everyone...
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tommorow morning is my CDS (moe) written test... I have not studied anything... but yet spending my time bloging... trying to reduce my stress.. ah... it is time for bed now... hopefully... tommorow will be a better day....