I hate my life...

Di dunia ini tidak ada seseorang yang berhutang budi kepada orang lain. Setiap orang hidup berdasarkan dengan apa yang telah dan belum dicapai.

Sebagaimanapun kita bersikeras terhadap diri kita sediri, penghargaan dan penghormatan hanya akan dibalas bila memang pantas.

Aku adalah pengembara. Pengembara yang kadang kadang kehilangan arah. meminta lebih dari apa yang patut diterima. Atau mungkin ini hanya takdirku saja yang tak dapat aku terima.


Do u know why I am sad. Do u understand who am I? do every u wonder wht has I become. I am killed by boredom for the past five days. I committed to stay is singapore a bit longer so that I can associate with my friends. But it seems I am not that important to them. each of them are busy with their stuff, some who are not, giving me many reason . It is not their fault, they have a right to decide what they wanted to do as I have a right to deliver my own sorrow on this blog. I don't hate them, I respect them. I understand them

I hate myself for being so naive. I thought I have many friends. Good friends. close friend. I thought I am important. all are just imginative... a shadows that plays on my dream.. I wanna cry sometimes... At this hour... I cant to anyone.. I hate my life... seriously I do..


I am a short of guy who do not have anything to do in this country.. believing and thinking that I am personally fine. I always let all people in my country know, that Singapore is the best place to live in, to study and to associate. Eventhough I myself suffer a fate that is totally contradicting to wht I am saying.

god in the heaven. I really hate mylife. I really hate singapore. I really hate the way I regard them. Because I am staying in this country -singapore- I technically lost contact my dear indonesian friends, and what all I have now if only singaporean friends. Well tell you, They are kind.. they are good ,they are considerate but they do not understand how do I feel living in a country alone without any family.. and any short of friend that a common feeling as I do.

When they are preoccupied, they will not bother about me. Because they expect me to be able to solve my boredom by myself, the way they did to theirs. Well of course , I can do the same thing if I am in my country indonesia, because there I have exactly the same thing my singaporen friends have here in singapore.. The thing is... my life here in Singapore is not like theirs...

This is unfair. I always be bombarded with unfair reality and facts about mylife.

Am I being irrational to be so disappointed like this?
Now tell me... My god.. Please... Dont do this to me anymore..
I am tired of yelling at the empty ceiling..
I am tired of all the sad things that You may take it as my life obstacles..
I am tired god...
I wanted to be happy at least once..
I wanted to see myself shouting , and congratulate myself , being grateful of living ..
Please.. give me chance..
Please my God..