Gone by day...

It is my birthday..

Yeow hon and ada did not remember my birthday at all..
Most of my "close friends" did not remember my birthday..
Kyz wished me on msn, but was busy the next day,
for some who remembered, All of them were bz.. I spent the whole day glaring at the empty wall.. this is my 20th birthday present from god..

Last night I was freaking stress. I have never drunk in my entire life. It is forbidden by my religion too.but last nite, I was so down.. I was so stress I drank few glass of vermouth, I think I almost collapsed.. well I really hoped god did take my life by then.. but he didn't...

I have to admit now. I have...

O good friends.
O true friend.
and a whole lot of quintessence.

and today.. i had a bad rashes. it was red and it was All over my body. maybe it is the curse from god.. The doctor said it was allergic symptoms. He said I maybe allergic to alcohol.

God has made me is such way. He wanted me to be a good guy that he intentionally made me allergic to alcohol. But I denied this rule, and I didnt know that before either. I refused medication from doctor. I dont need medications, I only need friends, true friends.

I am officially 20 now, but I have never had any gf before, girl wouldn't like a guy like me... a guy who is never proud of himself, a guy who always fails in friendship, in politics, and in almost anything..

Screw my life...

"thanks ST for trying to console me.. If u really decided to give up on him.. and that's what your heart really whispered, then by all means do it.. I hope you really find someone whom you love and who love you the same too.."