why must be me...

ALex and Anthony

In my life I have never been felt so sad... so miserable than having to admit alexander are no longer my good friend now... neither I am his good friend...

there is no need for a word to be uttered.. Just by knowing he has blocked my msn... I can already interpret his mind... and my conclusion is now... "he hates me"...

for days I have been trying hard to regard him as dead... I have been trying hard to discard all memories abt him from my mind... but all my attempts seem to have no success..

God...
why must you challenge me?
why must be alex you take away from me? why not some one else..
why must be my arch enemies , maybe behind of all this... why not Someone else...?

those questions linger in my mind almost every nights... making me felt difficult to even close my eyes in order to me to sleep peacefully..

and even if i finally manage to sleep... nightmares will surely haunt me in my dream...

when will this ends...? I am not sure... only god knows...

I dont even have a chance to pass him my own-written book that was dedicated to him...
God... why you treat me so unfairly like this...

only regrets and sadness that are left in the box of my mood... nothing else... simply... nothing...

mh...