Alex sees me as annoyance..

My worry eventually came into reality. Alexander finally shooed me off. He now regards me as irritants.

dear God,

It have been years since I never came face to face with kenneth foo shi hua. However his curse still takes effect on to me. and finally My only good friend Alexander, turn aside from me. Perhaps matthew chen and anthony lim were behind the plot. I dont know that, and I dont care. Alexander has a right to do anything he love to do.

I was too jealous of matthew chen and anthony lim. I just cannot take the fact that my arch enemies were actually My best friend's -alexander- good friends. I was too afraid that matthew chen and anthony lim who were undisputed crony of kenneth foo would one time influence alexander to hate me , as how other crony of kenneth foo did that to my previous best friend -Benjamin Lim- and succeeded.

Due to my over jealously, I automatically forced my self to get closer to alexander as fast as possible. Somehow I became more over concern abt alexander and over talkative, and all I did were merely to get alexander attention. Unfortunately ,in turn, alexander saw it as annoyance and eventually he blew his top and almost intent to block me in msn.


Dear god, you know and I know that I am not totally gay, and I recognize alexander as my good friend, not as gayfriend. However If you really wish to take alexander back from me.. you may take him away.. but in turn plz help me ease my emotion. Cuz , often I kept thinking abt him and almost every week I would at least had him in my dream, being my best friend. But when I am awaken , and I realised it was just a dream, sometimes I just couldnt resist of letting my tears fell downwards towards the earth. Plz help me to get away from all this stupid feeling. cuz I dont want to be called as "gay" again. That is the sharpest word I ever heard.

I have a lot af story i wanna share wif alex. If only he could just listen to me and stop saying " I dont care". My hope was just simple.. I just want alex to regard me as his friend..

mhh.. I hope Alexander is happy doing what ever he wish to do...