Alex said, " stop massaging me"

today I was trying to study again, as what alex tought me.. but it was really hard ... obstacles seemed to block my way, in any way..

this morning I tried to ask for alex help again, I thought maybe he could give me some advice which is useful for my "struggle" to start studying hard again just like last time.. mhh unfortunately he answered:

"dude you cant massage me morning till night man, there's a reason i'm leaving my phone off half of the time and it's cause I don't want distractions."

feeling disappointed of him, I just answered.. "k, i see"

mhh... dear diary, I know, that's the attitude of a creature named human. most of them are kind cuz they are willing to help other, however almost half of them will stop helping in the mid point.. and that's only make matter worse..

They should be either, "not to help at all" or "to help completely"

Kunal? I still decided not to massage him so often again... I completely washed my hand on him.. He thinks he can do it himself, well that's quite good mindset though... so much for a tremendous spirits.. however he has forgotten sumthing.. It is karma... and no one can escape from it.. no matter how smart the person is..

cassandra?
I did massage ger last night, saying sorry cuz I was rude to her the other day while talking in msn... I said that she become short because her boobs are too big and it weighed herself down preventing her body to grow upwards.. To my surprice she answered " who are u? ".. and I answered "I am bayu, I think u have forgotten abt me, well nevermind you dont have to remember though, have a nice day"...

I was axpecting her to answer " how could I forget abt you, you should have mentioned ur name earlier cuz i had not saved ur number in my contact list" ... but the fact is, she cant be bothered to answer my sms... after waiting for her reply for so long finally I fell asleep..

In my dream I dreamt that i became alex best friend forever.. when suddenly I was awaken by irritating ringings of alarm clock at 09.00 am , i wished I could dream much longer... but when i had managed to close my eyes, that wondeful dream I had just had was never repeated.. with fury I threw the alarm clock till it breaks apart, as a punishment for disturbing my sleep and banishing my beautiful dream that seldom comes in my sleep....